The Sex Doctors are In

Wielding a Vibrator like a Sexual Jedi

Posted by Anna Potter

Guys, let me tell you about why a vibrator should be every man's best friend.

Forget Batman and Robin, Kirk and Spock, or Han and Chewbacca; a guy plus a vibe is a dynamic duo guaranteed to rock the female citizens of Orgasm City.

But if you're like a lot of people, when you hear the word "vibrator," you probably think of some phallic-shaped rod that's loud and obtrusive. But now there is a whole host of vibrator choices out there, and they're not scary and they're not hidden in dingy sex shops -- they're everywhere.

Next time you're at your local drugstore, check out the condom aisle. Right next to your trusty rubbers is a line of couples' vibrators from Trojan, proving that vibrators are here to stay.

So grab a vibe off the shelf and make like Obi-Wan Kenobi with his light saber. Wield it like a Jedi master and the force of the female orgasm will be with you.

For a woman, having an orgasm is easiest when using a vibrator, writes Emily Nagoski in The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms.

"The mechanical vibration provided by toys is more intense than anything a hand, phallus, tongue, fresh produce, or other organic stimulus can provide. More stimulation→ more arousal → easier/faster orgasm."

In fact, the Kinsey Sexual Health Institute just put out the results of a study that showed the amazing physical and mental health benefits of vibrator use. Turns out, women may love using a vibe by herself, but add her man into the mix, and you've got yourself a hot recipe (a little bit of exhibitionism + extra stimulation = yes, please!).

So, here we have something that can bring on the elusive female orgasm, yet many men are ambivalent about using vibes on their partners and may be intimidated by their partner's vibe use.
Some men feel threatened, some don't know how to use them, and some men (and even some women) are worried about vibrator addiction. 

Nagoski clears this up: "A woman can get used to needing only a few minutes to orgasm [with a vibrator], and so when you go for orgasm without the toy you might feel like it's taking ages, when really it's just taking as long as it always did pre-vibrator."

This is great news for women and men, and here's why: Even if a man can last as long he likes, it doesn't mean a woman is going to have an orgasm. Most sex positions don't provide direct clitoral stimulation, which is vital to the female orgasm. And while porn makes it seem like all positions bring on the big O, it turns out that the female orgasm requires persistent clitoral stimulation.

That's where a vibe comes in: Women generally take longer to orgasm than men, and a lot of men find it difficult to last long enough during sex. A vibrator helps you and your partner get at least halfway home, if not taking you further.

If you're still nervous about trying out a vibrator, talk to your partner about it. Hop on over to the drugstore, grab an inexpensive vibe and play around a little bit.

With a little time and luck, the two of you will be buzzing to bliss--together.

Anna is completing her Master's of Public Health with a focus on sexuality and health at Columbia University. She has worked with youth and women of all ages, with a focus on empowering others to take responsibility for and control of their emotional and sexual health. She received her undergraduate degree from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, where she created and implemented the now-annual Orgasm Awareness Day.Anna can be reached at GoodinBed.com.