pain during sex
I'm a bisexual female who in March had an abortion. Since then I have had a same sex partner. When she uses her hand I have extreme discomfort and pain. It feels almost like a burning sensation when she hits a certain spot. (When we use a strap on I don't feel discomfort.) I am used to internal orgasms (gspot) and that is what I usually like the best. Harder and deeper sex for me is what I like. It's typically easy for me to get off that way. I'm concerned for my health and would love to know what is going on with my body. It's obviously concerning since the method of sex for me that I enjoy the most has become almost dreadful. I had my annual pap last week and the nurse practitioner said that she didn't see any thing abnormal or any reason it should be painful. I'm curious if this could be emotional/post abortion related? I am confused and don't have tons of cash to figure it all out.
It's never easy to know you have pain, and not receive a diagnosis. To get to the bottom of your discomfort, I have a few questions for you to consider. To start, did the nurse practitioner do a manual exam? If so, and you didn't feel discomfort that can be a clue.
Sometimes surgical procedures (abortion or otherwise) can cause problems after the fact. And, I wonder where you feel this pain.
I also can't help but question if this is related to how your partner is touching you.
Do you use a good amount of lube when your partner uses her hand? If not, adding lube can make all the difference. If you already use a lot of lube try switching to a different type or brand in case you're having an allergic reaction to N-9 or other ingredients (a sign is often a burning sensation).
Does your partner have long nails? If so, it could be that she's tearing your delicate vaginal lining. So, ask he to cut them shorter.
Hopefully, this will help you get to the source of the pain so you can enjoy your sex life!
I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties with genital pain. If the problem persists or if you don't feel like you're getting the care or answers you need, you may be able to connect with the National Vulvodynia Association (vulvodynia means "vulvar pain"; www.nva.org) or the International Society for the Study of Vulvovaginal Disease (www.issvd.org) for a referral. The NVA also has a great deal of helpful information related to genital pain on their web site.