A question about hpv history and relationships
I am a 25 yr old woman in a new relationship with a good friend. We have been dating/sleeping together for a little over a month.
A little over a year and a half ago I was diagnosed with hpv and had an outbreak of genital warts. After a couple months of treatment the outbreaks stopped. I've disclosed all this information to my new boyfriend and he was very understanding and patient and not upset, which I had expected. Then the other day, I was giving him head and noticed a bump on his penis. Now I am worried that I gave him hpv and am anxious about bringing it up to him again after he was so nice the first time.
My question is, if he does have hpv, what are the chances that I've infected him if we've only been sleeping together for a month? Should I bring my concerns up to him? Also, should I be concerned that I touched the bump with my mouth, can I contract the virus again in my mouth? I feel like my history causes me to be overly anxious when anything like this happens.
Great question. A few things to keep in mind: if you haven't had any new bumps then you most likely are in the clear. HPV has a way of lying dormant in your system and sort of clearing out on its own. Even if it hadn't cleared out, warts probably wouldn't show up on him that quickly if you DID infect him. You disclosed your status/former status to him, so he's in the know, which is great.
Also keep in mind that the bump could have been nothing, and it's pretty much guaranteed that he touches his penis as much as you do, so if it was something new, he would probably have noticed.
All that being said, if you're worried about it, say something to him. It sounds like the two of you have great, open communication, and you've already brought up this subject once and you know that he handled it well. Good for you!
You need to tell him to get it checked out as soon as possible. It's not impossible that he has HPV and hence can give it back to you after you have gotten all clear. I actually worked on a STD campaign years ago called "Ban Ping Pong" that was exactly about this. He might say, "yes I know about that bump, I got it checked out and it was nothing," or he might give you excuses about how he has had it for a long time. Regardless, HPV can have very bad consequences for you, and few for him so you need to be calm and firm about taking care of yourself.