know155 on Sep 18, 2010 at 9:59 PM
My husband has not made love to me in over a year. we've been married 15 years.The last years have been at the most, 4 times a year. We're both in our 50s.
Have you had a heart to heart conversation as to why? If you do, don't get mad if you hear something you don't like. Have an open and frank discussion about what you both need to do to get to a level of intamacy that you are comfortable with.
Firefighter brings up a good point. Does your husband know that this situation is upsetting to you? Sometimes, even after 15 years, we think that our partners are mind readers. Unfortunately, we and our relationships are always evolving and we can't make any assumptions. Hope this helps!
When you do talk, make sure you don't hint, use euphemisms or metaphors..there is too much room for misinterpretation. Should you be settling at age 50? Hell no, you could be having the best sex of your life now. Especially since it is post menopausal and you don't have to worry about pregnancy..ask some questions and figure out what is going on. You may need to make some appointments and go through some discomfort in talking, but the result could be fixing the problem and feeling even closer...Please write back and let us know how it goes. Good luck!
are you initiating? Some women wait for him to always be the one to ask or start things and sometimes he ends up feeling undesired as a result and just kind of quits. Why don't you initiate sex, clearly and directly?
Talk to him! Openly, honestly, clearly, and lovingly, talk to him. It's often the best thing we can do for our relationships.