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Why do I fantasize about my wife with another man?

By toddjohn on Sep 6, 2010 at 1:18 PM

I often fantasize about wife making love to another man. There have been many love making sessions between my wife and I, in which during the sessions we have whispered to each other, fantasies of her making love to a secret lover. The fantasy-whispering has enhanced her orgasms to an experience that's favorable and indescribable with words; and I enjoy witnessing and experiencing her orgasms.

Over the 14-plus years of marriage, there have been a few occasions that we have successfully turned fantasy into reality. I never participate in the actual fantasy-affairs. My wife would share her experience with her lover later. My reward was hearing the hot stories of the leading up to the sex and sexual act.

My wife decided she wanted to quit with the fantasies. There were no unfavorable experiences or situations.

Nonetheless, I continue to have these fantasies of my wife with another man. Does the fantasy of a husband wanting his wife to have an affair common?

6 replies

Anna Potter | Sep 8, 2010 at 2:26 PM | Reply | Report

This is awesome! This is a pretty common fantasy and it sounds like the two of you have had really healthy and AWESOME experiences with communicating the fantasy with one another, and acting on it. This is not "weird" at all, and I encourage you to keep exploring your fantasies with your wife and having those mind-blowing orgasms!

Ian Kerner | Sep 11, 2010 at 12:05 AM | Reply | Report

Yes very common -- fantasies about our partners with somebody else are amongst the most common fantasies for men and women. Definitely encourage your wife to continue to be creative within the safe-zone you've created together. The brain is the biggest sex organ, so keep stimulating it!

DB | Dec 14, 2010 at 4:29 PM | Reply | Report

I've had the same fantasy as did a friend and my brother. The common denomenator was we all thought our wives were beautiful and sexy and fantacized about stepping back and watch our beautiful women perform--wow

Deirdre | Feb 18, 2011 at 1:10 PM | Reply | Report

Do you know why your wife decided to quit?
My husband allowed me to have sex with a stranger in our bedroom, while he watched us from the closet in secret. For him, it was highly exciting. For me, as I have written elsewhere, it was totally the most exciting thing I have ever done--not because the stranger was all that hot or good, but because of the "forbidden feel" to it, my husband watching but being "helpless" to stop it, and the bit of "naughtiness" there was. It only lasted 30 min. or so, and i did not cum. that was OK it was awesome anyway. The guy came for me, left soon afterwards. Once he left my husband & I had a very quick bout of sex so we could each get off. It has enormously spiced up our sex together. I want it to happen again! I'm working on it...
Sorry your wife is not into any more.

astonbella | Nov 19, 2013 at 10:48 PM | Reply | Report

Do you think all good things come to a end sooner or later but you could ask her to go one more time you see I found out my wife had a fling some 10 years ago, I was to be honest delighted she has kept saying sorry and what are you going to do so I said I want a threesome, after no please etc she agreed and only to be a one off so I new a acquaintance from a long time ago and he new my wife but she didn't now him and he was a black guy, well it was fab

marmity | Feb 14, 2014 at 1:22 PM | Reply | Report

I fantasize about this all the time and masturbate to the thoughts too. My wife has had sex with other men (I dropped her off at the hotel) and after sex with them she has come home and given me details while we had sex together.
Very hot and I want to see it in person but she is too shy. Now I insist that I am there but she says it is in the past. A bummer but images are there in my brain...

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