Open Relationships
Well, the conversations (via text mainly still) have escalated quite significantly to the point where my wife is very interested in exploring an open relationship. She keeps saying how badly she wants to see another woman (in our neighborhood, not married) take my cock. She is fascinated by the thought of seeing her reaction if she saw how big my cock is (in her words). I am definitely into this and have already stressed that trust, honesty and commitment have to be 100% in place if we are really going to do this. She has also asked if I wanted to see her with another man, and I do, and trust her explicitly. Besides those points, and obviously using extreme care and judgment - is this a good idea? What are other things we need to keep in mind? She has already raised the subject with the neighbor...anyone have experience in an open relationship who can help?
How long will this last? How often? Will it take the place of the sex you & wife have now? What about health issues? A man in my neighborhood had a drunken sex encounter with a co-worker one time on a work trip and got a STD from her, and passed that along to his wife. How would either of you react if this were to occur to one or both of you as a result, no matter how careful you thought you were being? My point, as you already know, is that it ain't that simple....
All great points and things we need to talk through and figure out. The matter of being careful is at the forefront of my mind and I am sure my wifes as well. The situation we are looking at now involves someone my wife knows very well, the worry of STD is not an issue regarding this particular case. But if we decided to look for other partners we would have to exert extreme caution before doing anything at all. We have not discussed how long this will last or how often we will do it - I imagine we would have to get over that first experience hurdle before we determined what next. But this in no way would take place of the sex we currently have.
As I wrote in another topic, my wife & I tried this once. It was totally exciting when it happened, and when we planned it, but afterwards it was not as easy. Her "partner" was close to being anonymous (even to me), mine was just a blow job (although a good long one) from someone she knew down the street. Not easy facing your neighbor on the street after that!
Do you ever knock on her door and ask for more? Seriously, there are lots of folks here on this site who seem to b planning these kind of trysts, and don't seem to think about what the results will be down the road 1 week, 1 year, etc.
Understood, adds even more to the ongoing discussions her and I are having on setting the ground rules and exerting the most sincere caution with anything we do. She seems to be ok with being able to maintain that friendship with the neighbor, although I understand that you never really know until after the fact.
I convinced my wife to sign up for this site too since she is not one to verbally discuss these things very well, perhaps she will chime in at some point.
Once you go down that road, you can't erase what happens. Be prepared.
So is your wife going to watch or participate? I actually watched my husband get a blow job. This way it was not him running around, I felt I was part of it, I could see what was going on. I even helped to set it up. I would not have allowed this to happen unless I was there, AND not sure I am ready for him to be actually inside another woman. Can't explain why, but him receiving a blow job from a woman seems less threatening to me. I did get turned on by this experience too-maybe your wife will too? Is the neighbor single? Would you banging the neighbor destroy her marriage/family/relationship?
Hi Deidre, thank you for the sincere reply. I am cute's wife and the one who pretty much got things started by telling my husband during sex how much it would turn me on to see another woman take his huge dick. The plan in my mind is to be present if it ultimately happens, the neighbor is ok with that, and i think i would join inif they asked. She is single so no family or relationship concerns for her. The thought of seeing the two of them together is so excitimg. Discussions with her are ongoing right now but it feels like it will happen pretty soon.
MarriedMom: I envy you. I watched one time, but it wasn't with my boyfriend. In h.s. I watched my older sister have sex with her boyfriend on couch in our basement. She said it was OK, and knew I would not tell parents. She made me hide behind the stairs in the dark, but I had full view. he never knew. I was @ 14, was totally turned on, could hardly breath. First time I saw a guy 1/2 naked, or saw a hard penis. Also saw how she put rubber on him, which was good thing to learn in hindsight. I was so naive, later I asked my sister why they stopped. She explaind that he came but she didn't. She even showed me the used rubber. I did not know what an orgasm felt like at that time, & she said it was hard to do for her. When I went to bed that night & undressed I thought I had peed my pants but it was really that my panties were so wet from having watched them. I'd love to get that feeling back one more time, it was amazing.
You got some good advice there...
When I was 13 and a virgin, I saw my cousin & his girlfriend doing it poolside at night, behind my house. They thought noone could see them but I was in a 2nd story bedroom with no lights on! Boy did I learn a lot! They were on a chase lounge and she was on top the whole time. Our dog kept going out to them and they had to chase him away all the time!
Congratulations on your mature approach you have taken on this matter. If more couples took this same approach, there would be much fewer needless divorces. As long as you fully discussed ground rules, expectations, and how to handle possible after effects, You should experience nothing but joy from the event(s). Plus, your sex together for some time afterward will be incredibly more intense!
Thank you for the nice words of encouragement Beau. We certainly hope the outcome is exactly what you speak of, an incredibly more intense intimacy. Thenerves for all are stirring as it is becoming closer and closer to being a reality here, so so so excited though.
Sometimes it's better to take the slow path, and really enjoy the mental aspects of the fantasy, before trying to turn a fantasy into reality. Very often the communication about the fantasy ends up being sexier than the reality, and the reality ends up having many unforeseen consequences. I agree that it's great that you've been able to have such an open conversation, but that doesn't mean you should rush anything.
I understand Ian, we are not rushing anything too much or trying not to. Still just talking with the neighbkr on this and i am letting her set the pace, so far she is asking a lot of questions but is really eager for this as well. Husband and i are getting more and more comfortable with all of this as we continue to discuss many things around a step like this. Nervous, anxious, turned on, etc...are the feelimgs running through my body and mind at tnis point
The thought of swinging has entered my mind a few times, but I am very hesitant. How do you deal with jealousy in this type of relationship? I don't know that I could handle my emotional reaction to my partner sharing this level of intimacy with someone else and I would love to know if it is something you learn or just a different way of looking at sex. For me, sex is a very integral part of a relationship and my concern is sharing that would diminish the bond we share.
Hi Midlife - well, that point of intimacy is something my husband and I are talking a lot about. Since nothing has happened yet I cannot say for sure that there will be no jealousy. However, with me being the initiator for this and having such a strong desire to see him with another woman, and knowing the other woman, I feel very strongly that jealousy will not be an issue, the excitement and anticipation at this point is so powerful for me. The only time jealousy might become an issue as I think about this, is if feelings became involved. I do not believe that will be the case. This is a purely physical desire for all of us, and I have an overwhelming anticipation for when this woman sees and feels how enormous my husband is. Probably sounds strange and shallow, but it is a huge turn on for me. We both do believe that this is going to make our relationship even stronger, just the two of us discussing this so intimately the past few days has made me feel closer to him than ever.
MarriedMom: "knowing the other woman, I feel very strongly that jealousy will not be an issue." Really? How come? If you know her and he does too, sounds like could be opportunity later for feelings to develop, attractions, etc. I think you are fooling yourself. it may be safer than a stranger as far as STDs, but if you know her...not so sure. My wife allowed me to get a BJ (which was exciting & pretty hot) from a fairly attractive older neighbor woman we only know a little bit. She was OK with that as was I. It was exciting and fun, wife was present too, but when it was over, it was done and the woman wasn't in our lives afterwards. In fact, the woman asked my wife over the weekend if we wanted her to do it again, as she was willing! Wife respectfully declined, as she doesn't want it to be "neighbor with benefits"!
I am basing my feelings on the deep and intimate discussions I have had with the neighbor so far. We have been very clear in talking through the potential for tangled emotions and we honestly do not believe they will become an issue. This is a leap of faith for all of us.
I have done this one time, where I had sex with someone other than my spouse while he observed. I have written more details elsewhere so I won't repeat them here. The point here though is that for us it had to be a "controlled environment" & not him giving me permission to go out and get laid wherever and whenever I wanted. Have fun with it. I hope this is not too crude and I write this to get a smile from you all, but I must say that the experience of getting nailed pretty damn hard (although not long enough!) in my own bedroom by a total stranger was to me the most exciting thing I have ever done without my clothes on!
I can really understand the turn on, believe me. Just set limits you both agree on!
Does she know how big he is? If she sees it for the first time that night & is scared to take him, that may ruin all your plans. Have lube or oil on hand. Good luck tonight. I don't think I could watch without joining in our masturbating while I watch.
Good point @ the surprise OhioGirl, but that may be part of the thrill, right MarriedMom? Plus you have told him he is huge so she must be aware of it. As I wrote in the note above @ Jan 11, 2011, I had similar encounter where husband secretly watched me have sex with man in our bedroom. He was almost total stranger, so it was an unk @ his penis size. When fully hard he was bigger than my husband, but during actually sex I could not tell difference.
It sounds like you two can make this work and I wish you the best of luck. I think this is really a situation that some people can handle, and some can't. The idea is indeed a real turn-on, but I don't think I am properly wired to deal with it the right way. In the end my ideas of what sex is and is not are not compatible with a swinger lifestyle. I cannot distinguish between physical lust and romantic desire easily, which makes the emotional detachment for this impossible. I don't think I could squash the doubt swinging would create in my head and I would constantly obsess on concern that my SO would enjoy sex with someone else more than with me. Of course that would start a chain reaction that I fear would destroy our relationship. It is precisely why I have never participated in any casual sex encounters, even when I was single. I always knew that for me casual sex would lead to emotional attachment, which defeats the purpose.
Do let us know how things turn out if you don't mind. :)
Thanks for the encouragement and i totally understand where you are coming from. This lifestyle is not for all, and who knows, it may turn out that it is not for us, although I cannot foresee a situation where I do not love seeing her take my husbands huge dick. Her and I, and my husband are super excited. We are looking at sometime over the next few days of arranging this so I will certainly keep you updated if interested. My husband and I, as well as her and I have been discussing this so much the past few days that we believe all ground rules and scenarios have been covered, the anticipation now is overwhelming!!
Well, it looks like tonight is the night! Now the nervousness and excitement are truly setting in for all of us. Wish us luck!!!
What is the plan?
The excitement & anticipation are intense--I watched my wife "get it" from a stranger in our own bedroom, while I was in the closet and he did not know. Although I still had reservations @ it, I allowed it. Let me tell you, after 20 minutes of watching them, and he was doing her from behind anally (which we don't do much but my wife allowed becuase she knew I was watching & wanted to tease me) I was so aroused I had to jack off there in the closet or I thought I'd get so hard I'd burst. This kind of thing isn't for everyone, to be sure, but for us the thrill was overwehlming.
OhioGirl - she did know how big he was based on some conversations we had, it was a big driver behind this occuring as she had always fantasized about having a really big dick. She was super anxious and could tell that, even though I had told her how big he was, she was still a bit surprised at how long and thick his dick is. But she absolutely loved it, and I loved every moment of watching them. I joined in for a little bit as well, her and I even touched each others bodies a little bit (although only our upper half). She was so intense and loud and the sex they had was electric. She came so hard and often, it was such a turn on for me. I got myself off masturbating and then afterwards my husband and I shared an unbelievably strong sexual moment when we got home that night. So, so happy right now and I can tell she is as well based on the texts we have shared today!!
How did it happen? How does your husband feel @ all this happening? Would love to know since I have been through this before, but did not let him actually enter another woman.
How come CuteNCGuy has not posted here for some time? Sounds like it was quite an event, I hope you will share more details. Not surprised you joined in! Did you make any rules @ what they could and could not do in bed?
Hi all, it's me again. Wow! What an experience this was for all of us, and selfishly for me of course. Let me just tell my wife how much I love her for kicking something like this off. The experience itself was so intense, having my wife sit there and watch me with another woman, wow. We had it planned out to occur last Thursday night. After a good period of talk/chat, albeit nervous chat, I stood up the neighbor and turned her around so her back was to me and we were not face to face with my wife at first. I began by kissing her neck and slowly caressing her body before I began undressing her in that same position. After I got her undressed I rubbed her naked body all over and nearly brought her to orgasm with my fingers before she stopped me and turned around - now she was facing my wife. She began by kissing me and doing the same to me in return (kissing, rubbing, caressing, undressing). She took my shirt off, then knelt in front of me and unzipped my pants and slid them..
down, you could tell she was excited at this point and slowly pulled my briefs down, exhaling a quite 'holy shit', which made my wife respond with an 'i told you girl', she took her time looking at it and slowly stroking it while she figured out how she would take me in her mouth. Once she did, it was amazing. I almost came instantly, the intensity of having my cock in another womans mouth with my wife watching was incredible. As she took my mouth in her cock there was some talk back and forth between her and my wife which was incredibly hot. At this point my wife was rubbing her breasts and undoing her top. The neighbor gave amazing head and after a bit started telling me how badly she wanted to feel my 'huge cock' in her. So I stood her up and sat her on the sofa, a little bit next to my wife. I knelt on the floor in front of her and slowly kissed her and then down her entire body to her feet before slowly working my way back up. My wife was loving this very much and...
undressed more. I very slowly and deliberately worked my way back up the neighbors legs and slowly teased her pussy and clit with light traces of my tongue. She was already extremely wet but I took my time savoring her taste and did so because my wife was extremely turned on by me doing so. I then sat upright on my knees and positioned my head over her pussy and slowly pushed in, letting her set the pace by her body language and sound. That first time I got as far in as I could I felt her body shudder and thought she was cumming but did not. After only a few slow strokes though she grabbed my wifes hand and placed it on her breasts and told her how huge I was, she came, extremely hard and loud. It took everything in me to hold myself together. After her orgasm settled down I returned to pacing myself by alternating between slow and fast thrusts. My wife had me pull out and she stroked my cock a few times in between which was absolutely amazing...
the neighbor then had me stop and she got on her knees on the sofa and grabbed my cock and put it in her from behind. This view was intoxicating, reaching over and feeling her heavy tits from behind while looking at my gorgeous wife now rubbing her own breasts and rubbing her pussy as she mouthed "I love you" and "This is so amazing" to me was very erotic. As I was fucking the neighbor from behind both of their breathing ramped up and I could feel myself building towards an orgasm as well. The neighbor reached down and vigorously rubbed her pussy to another orgasm and then quickly spun around to take me in her mouth again. Now my wife and I both were nearing that moment, the neighbor had my cock in her mouth, my balls in one hand and stroking me with the other, occassionally telling my wife how amazing my cock was, at that moment my wife let go, shortly followed by me unloading probably the largest load in the neighbors mouth. Afterwards we all sat around and chatted about...
how amazing and intense the experience was. But also talked about discretion again and not feeling uncomfortable around one another. I can say that while a bit awkward, it has not been as strange as I thought it may be afterward. My wife and her actually spend the day together yesterday shopping and had a nice dinner together while I watched our girls and football all day. I just want to reiterate again how much I love my wife for this and how much I thoroughly enjoyed the experience.
So what adventures to you have planned next? Sounds like it is your wife's turn to "branch out" now! One question: did you use a condom?
It sounds like the two of you have AMAZING communication and a great foundation of mutual love and respect for one another. What a great first experience for the two of you!
@OhioGirl - my wife may need to reply to this, but apparently she has someone in mind (whom I approve of), but she is not exactly sure how to broach the subject with him
@Anna Potter - thank you so much. I have such incredible love, respect and adoration for my wife, and I truly feel that this first experience even strengthened it. Amazing what the feeling of being uninhibited, free, and open can do to a relationship if approaced maturely and properly. Best decision we have made!!