Still Haven't Had An Orgasm... (yet)
I still have never had an orgasm (yet), not even through clitoral stimulation, and not through intercourse. I know I am able to, but I seem to always stop right before. Sometimes it just gets so intense that I can't take it (which I realize is kind of the point), and it feels like a tickling, uncomfortable, almost painful feeling. Other times I stimulate my clit so much that after a while I feel nothing... I may get to a certain point, feel a need to move the energy somehow, and then it just drops. It can be really frustrating. I'm getting to know my body better, which is great, and release things related to sexual repression... but it's just taken so long, and sometimes I wonder if I ever will. Sometimes I think I just need to relax, let go, and feel more... but then I still get to that point. Any ideas on how to move past it?
Thank you!
You should get some good, useful responses from the female readership. Some info on you would help: age, partnered or masturbation sex, general health, medications taken, anything else pertinent like job or life stresses.
There are tons and tons of web sites dealing with female orgasm, google's your friend. Lots of books referenced. Some of your wording makes me think you are dealing with a lot of stress. You use the phrase "...related to sexual repression.." And you seem to suggest a simple enough solution: "I think I just need to relax..." That sounds true, but my judgment is there's more you haven't said. Be very aware that not everyone is the same sexually and has different results from the same stimuli. You should get some good responses here and keep searching for resources. You might benefit from one-on-one counseling from a sex therapist. They are a resource of resources.Google AASECT. Report your progress. Many will learn from your experiences. Be well.
Do you have a vibrator? Have you tried reading erotica, fantasizing, watching porn, etc. to help you?
Props to you for taking time to explore your body. It can cause a lot of anxiety to be on the precipice of an orgasm when you've never had one. It's a complete and total release, and with that comes letting go, which is so scary!
Keep up the good work, and be patient with yourself!
Reaching orgasm for the first time sometimes requires a little trial and error. Some women like to have a lot of lube, while others need the extra friction of no lube but prefer indirect stimulation (from the side rather than right on top). What I will say is that women can actually overwhelm themselves when they are masturbating, becoming almost numb and uncomfortable if they go too hard or too fast too soon. If this is happening to you, try going much slower so that you don't get numb and then build up. Also, think less about orgasm and more about your most exciting fantasy, whatever that fantasy may be.
I would think a little masturbation could help, let you get to know what gets you off without the pressure of being with a man at the same time you are figuring it all out.
Are you comfortable enough with another woman to ask her for help? A friend of mine several yrs ago could not cum, so she got a friend of hers (female) who could cum help her out, show her masturb techniques, some porn, etc. It worked. Sounds kinky but they were both in PJs, no touching, just talking & showing.
Sounds like a great idea, if you have a friend close enough to ask and help you.
Hi Folks, we rarely interject as moderators in the conversations, but just wanted you to know that there are some pending comments that we're going to refrain from publishing because they're starting to sound like something out of Penthouse Forum. We would never want to discourage fantasizing or the writing of erotica, but this probably isn't the place to do it -- we really appreciate all of the energy and comments in the forum and keep dispensing the excellent advice. If you'd like to discuss this, please email us at info@goodinbed.com. Thanks from all of at at Good in Bed.
Are you married or single? Do you have multiple partners? Maybe you are too nervous to cum, esp if you do not know your partner very well.
thank you all!