Dirty Talk with a woman
I recently had an intimate a first-time encounter with a woman who just turned 30 AND I had taken the time to know for 4 months prior to getting intimate with. As part of dirty talk I asked her "Want me to penetrate you?". She then discontinued intimacy and decided to scathe me for asking it. She asked "Are you serious? Do women sleep with you when you say that? Am I suppose to sleep with you?" Needless to say how emasculating and humiliating this was. My questions are :
Is there a right way to have dirty talk foreplay?
Is there a "Dirty talk for women over 30 manual?"
What did I do wrong here?
Was she out of line?
Although I am no expert on this, I think you two are from different leagues. It sounds like you are more of a gentleman and she was more into getting -ucked. I think she may be more into "getting it on" and you are "into making love" I know that may sound a bit corny especially nowadays. I am sure it was humiliating when she that. Somehow, I would picture myself in that scenario and would be just as confused.
The short answer is, "No." There is no right way to talk dirty; there is no set of rules. You didn't do anything wrong, you simply responded in a way that made you comfortable. Dirty talk can be provocative, teasing, raunchy, or downright vulgar. Unfortunately, you don't ever really know what a person likes until you're in the heat of the moment. Regardless of our situations, we should remember to be respectful to our partners; we never want to make them feel badly for trying to satisfy us. That should be the lesson for all of us going forward. Though that being said, one guideline for talking dirty: Refrain from use of the words, "slut, whore, dirty (you get the point)" unless you know that your partner is turned on by it. Otherwise, avoid them. Hope this helps!
Um are you a doctor or something? The word penetration sounds like its from a doctor's manual or something. I agree with the above poster, I think she just wante -ucked. Maybe next time, try something like "are you ready for it" "can I fuck you?" "Can i stick it to you"....lol....penetrate sounds like such a clean word, definately not dirty talk. Maybe she was tired of waiting the 4 months to get it on! FYI this response is coming from a 32 year old female.
I have a bit of personal knowledge on this subject as I myself enjoy it. However before you just lay it on the line, make sure you have given time to truly understand who you are with and if they are the same with or without alcohol as we all know that sometimes when a person is able to let their inhibitions go it is a totally differnt story than when we have had nothing to help us along. Be honest and straight to the point. I don't think you did anything wrong at all and were shunned because maybe she thought she wanted it at first for fun or excitment or to keep you wanting but in the end just could do it. There are no set rules. I wish their were. It is like peeling back an onion one layer at a time and eventually you will find the ins and outs and maybe experiment a little. Dont feel bad, remember it takes two to tango so you cant be the guilty one alone. Sometimes it is the women you least exect who are the most fun.
I think that dirty talk might be a little much for a first encounter in general. Maybe be more general until your partner reacts. Some people dislike talking in general, some people like to talk all the way through. I'd start with something like, "your body feels amazing" or "I love how you do that" and see how they react...IF they react with, "Grab me do me!" then you've got an invite to go there. In the right situation, "I want to penetrate you" could be fun - it's got double meaning, but is polite - not really dirty. I think she was a bit insensitive to make such a judgmental reaction to your talk - There are nicer ways to say, "Baby - let's talk after, right now I'm just learning you."
But if it's an important facet for your sex life, you should be able to discuss it with your girl at some point how you wanna describe things during sex. But 'penetrate' might be a bit deep for a first time.
Good luck
I don't think you did anything wrong. She could have handled that incident about 100x more gracefully. The things that rolled out of my partner's mouth when we first connected were a little surprising at first, but it's all good fun. I got some clarification and now we're good. I just see it as another role to play in bed. You may want to give serious consideration to whether this sort of woman is the sort you want to spend much time with. Her words carried a definite tone of mean spiritedness, in my opinion.
It depends on the class of woman you are talking to. I know that when I was dating if someone asked me something like that - well, I just wasn't brought up to respond. It took a very close, intimate relationship, really trusting my partner before I could relax and enjoy dirty talk... (or deeds)
I agree with Anon101. Know the woman you are dealing with before you lay a line on her. Some women are naughty from the get go but these are women who will let you know right away. More timid woman may talk big but when it comes down to it they may regret it or feel cheap even though they thought it would be sexy. The more open minded a woman is, the more fun and adventure you may find.
Talking dirty is not using "clean" words. Penetration, vagina, penis, intercourse, etc. can all be classified as "clean" words. There is no dirtiness to them because they are words that you could find in a book at Barnes and Noble. The art to talking dirty is to become in touch with this "animalistic" side of you. The side that is almost a brute (but don't go too far with it) and speaks with what your body wants. You have to find a sort of balance to not go too far into it and make it insulting to her.
What a prude!! To belittle you like that is totally unacceptable. After 4 months she should have known your personality. Were any innuendo's made? Any joking? I am a 38y old woman and if you would have said that to me I probably would have laughed at the word "penetration" and said "heck yea, put it in now!" She is a shallow person so move on.