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Wife that wants to be restrained during sex...

By Tennesseeboy on Aug 30, 2011 at 11:26 PM

Ok, so I need some guidance. I'm 33 and my wife is 28. We have been married for 4 years. She has hinted to me that she wants to be "tied up" or restrained during sex. I purchased some restraints almost a year ago, but for whatever reason I can't bring myself to put her in them. She does not even know that the restraints exist! I would love to hear from others on this topic. Do I just take control, restrain her, and have my way with her? I KNOW she wants it, she's all but told me so! Why am I so reluctant to try this. I'm definitely getting lots of sex this weekend, how do I begin the process of restraining her?

2 replies

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Madeleine Castellanos, M.D. | Sep 1, 2011 at 8:14 AM | Reply | Report

You may want to start off gradually and notice what your thoughts and feelings are about it. You can do this by either holding her down with your hands - over her wrists or her shoulders (wherever she likes). You can also start using pieces of clothing that is a little more natural. As you undress her, you can use that piece of clothing to momentarily bound her arms, legs, breasts, etc. Then notice what her reactions are to this and what your reactions are about this. You can also talk about what is exciting about this activity with each other, but I would suggest that this discussion take place at a neutral time when you are not actually having sex or leading towards sex. This may help you gain some insight about it for you and help you decide what level works for your relationship with her. Everyone is a little different, and different people enjoy different levels of bondage.

dutchmenmightfly | Nov 16, 2011 at 4:29 PM | Reply | Report

I had similar thoughts when I first tried light bondage and such. What I found out in my case is that she really liked being surprised by me taking complete control of her and doing the regular things but in an unpredictable and sensual way. Like Madeleine said it is always good to see where the boundaries are.
Personally I don't think you have to hesitate much and simply suggest using the items half into foreplay or something.

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