insecure with my body
I have been married for 10 years. In that 10 years I have gone from 145 lbs to 240 lbs.I don't like to be naked even when I am alone, if I could shower with my clothes on I would. As I am sure you have figured, it is effecting our sex life. I am never in the mood because I don't feel sexy. My husband is getting the short end of the deal here.
I am working on weight loss I have joined a gym, work out with a personal trainer, and I have a nutritionist. Its going to take a while to get the weight off but I have to figure out what to do in the mean time. Please help
Dear W_W,
You are probably a lot tougher on yourself than anybody, including hubby. He might be happy that you are losing weight, when you do, but for now, he married you and he loves you.
When we guys really love our woman, we don't see her the same way others do or as the woman herself does. If the woman acts sexy and thinks of herself that way, the man who loves her would find that hard to resist. Lose that weight, but don't "wait" to get things moving in the bedroom.
Good Luck.
Congratulations on getting yourself on the right track. Your sense of sexiness has a lot to do with your overall sense of self-esteem, so you have to give yourself time. But believe me, once you start getting yourself healthy, I would bet that your desire will return. Until then, you have to be patient. Remember the brain is the biggest sex organ and if you're uncomfortable in your own skin, you can dim the lights, even turn them off, and share fantasies with your husband, and let your bodies follow your brains. Also, allow yourself to fantasize and enjoy your own sexuality. Once you start to reactivate yourself sexually, you'll find that you have more interest.
Yes, you are moving in the right direction. Do this for yourself, not just for your husband, of course. Gym, trainer and nutritionist are must have's. But equally important is the why. Why have you gained 95lbs? What is underneath this?
I would highly recommend you get some therapy that uncovers and treats the aspects of your life that you have possibly suppressed and "treated" with food. Nobody gets over-weight by accident. I hope this makes sense to you and I'm not judging you. You're decision to slim down is awesome and will return health benefits many fold. Ask your nutritionist to recommend someone who works with people undertaking such a serious program. Good luck, you deserve the best!
W_W, you say your husband is getting the short end of the stick...this makes it sound like there's every likelihood that your husband would be DELIGHTED to show you just how sexy you are if you'd only give him the chance. If you're looking for an self-esteem boost on your desirability (and fit or not, who doesn't want one of those?), be sure you're not overlooking the most obvious source!
Hi!! I'm new here but just wanted to say I can relate. I have never heard anyone else say they wish they could shower with clothes on but you totally took the words out of my mouth!
Good luck...they say confidence is the sexist thing a woman can have...