Optimism/Pessimism and Sexual Health
21yro here battling with the realities of sex. I'm seeking advice. Here is my story:As a young male, I have vibrant sex drive but no sex life. I agree with those facts that "having regular sex will improve your overall health". Why am I not getting any "action"? I'm a non-smoking healthy energetic person. I am friendly/outgoing and a little shy. I love getting out of my comfort zone and meeting new people. My last couple attempts at sex have been complete fails. I was too drunk and couldn't be aroused. It felt WRONG and foreign. I had amazing sex when I was 14 and it has been downhill since. I hooked up with a girl last night and I literally couldn't be aroused! Should I keep "trying" or should I just play the waiting/searching game until I find someone I really dig. The latter sounds dangerous to my psyche. I am already really upset about all of this. I feel like a romantic at heart and am really confused about this ditch. It just doesn't seem natural.
Why does waiting until you find someone you really "dig" sound dangerous to your psyche to you? Who have your sexual partners been so far? One-night stands? Women you're friends with? Women you've been dating? Casual sex can be great for some people, for sure. But it definitely isn't for everyone. So if the sex you've been having has been on the casual side, maybe you just aren't someone who is into that? Who was this partner you were with when you were 14? Was it a highschool "love"? It sounds like you've got a really healthy situation going on (non-smoker, energetic, friendly/outgoing, meeting new people). Also, can you get aroused when you masturbate? If you can, there likely isn't anything physiologically wrong...and it is probably just situational. A little more information about the context of these "unsuccessful" sexual experiences would be helpful in getting to the bottom of it.