Having trouble reaching an orgasm
Hello. I'm a 20something that has been in a sexual relationship for the last 2.5 years. At first I was really naive and thought an orgasm would just come naturally (as in all movies and such). But as we both quickly found out; that's not the case. So for the last 6 months or so, I've been taking the initiative and masturbating, trying to reach an "O" on my own, to teach my boyfriend later... BUT, I've had no success over all this time. I mainly try in the shower, and get aroused, have vaginal contractions, the onset of tension in my pelvis and good feelings, but then my clitorus gets enlarged, extremely sensitive and painful right when the feelings begin to intensify. So I have to stop and that's the extent of my experience...
So, can anyone give any advice or tips? Am I doing something wrong? Do I have to fight through the pain and sensitivity? I'm getting extremely defeated and frustrated, so anything will help.
Simone - learning how to give yourself an orgasm involves some experimentation. It sounds like you are having a good amount of arousal and vasocongestion (erectile tissue gets filled with blood), which may actually be very uncomfortable after some time. I would suggest that you try to learn to give yourself an orgasm while laying down rather than standing up. When you are standing, you have greater muscle tension trying to keep you upright that you could otherwise relax. Also, standing makes the pooling of blood in the erectile tissues even greater and can give women a similar feeling to what men experience as 'blue balls.' Practicing this while laying down alone also eliminates distractions and helps you reach your orgasm more easily.