Help in building confidence -- penis enlargement
Short version — I’ve been married for over a decade & my wife cheated on me, & we parted. Two years past, I forgave & we decided to work on it. When we just married, sex was great. A few years into the marriage, I felt insecure & asked her if I was adequate. She said, she enjoyed sex with me & we were fine but "honestly it would be nice if I was a little bigger". I'm average (5.75 erect). I was open minded & purchased some toys and worked on foreplay a lot. We spiced things up with strip clubs occasionally & had a threesome twice. I was very vested in making sure we were happy. Later kids came & her interest left & the affair followed. The nail on the coffin for me is I heard through a conversation between my wife & her sister, that the guy she cheated with is very endowed. It’s a difficult thing to deal with & I find myself disconnected & feeling inadequate & even stopped getting full erections, I'm guessing its stress. I've been wondering if kegals,jelquing or enlargement work.
There is no FDA approved technique for enlarging one's penis and honestly if you're within the average range, size shouldn't be an issue. Was your wife orgasmic during sexual events with you? It sounds like you made quite a bit of effort to introduce variety into your routine. Are you still working it out with her? Have you discussed the factors behind her affair? Truly it's better to have an average sized penis than one that is too large. The issue shouldn't be size, but rather the quality of the sexual intimacy.
Yes we have discussed the factors behind the affair. She attributes most of the interest with being bored with life, resentment about bearing the bunt of the work in dealing with the kids & just feeling dull. We discussed it for a while & later on she did admit that she made excuses to me & herself in order to justify her own actions. We were in a rut & she wanted to experience something new & held out for awhile because of guilt.
She has had orgasms with me in the past but it is mostly with oral stimulation. In fact, the last few years, I don't think she will orgasm without oral.
In the same conversation I overheard between her sister & her, the other cheating party did not provide oral yet she did orgasm. So I'm feeling inadequate, incompatible & like I just don't measure up, pun intended.
Experts say that male-enhancement is not proven but I'm simply desperate before our demise.
It's not comfortable talking to her about it anymore and now I really feel stuck.
You don't mention if you two have gone for couples counseling ... ? You can not change your penis size, so forget that. You can introduce larger sized toys, but it sounds like you've tried that already. Bottom line: your wife cheated on you, so it's time to heal the relationship via therapy, or move on to a life partner who values you for everything that you are. Good luck!
Penis enlargement is not an easy or necessarily safe thing. There are mechanical methods of stretching the tissues which uses GENTLE tension for hours a day for months to years to get 1 centimeter of results. And with all that, you may only get a little length, but no change or even a little decrease in girth. Since all of a woman's erectile tissue is around the opening of the vagina, girth usually is more important than length. The other aspect to consider is that these mechanical methods could cause scar tissue in the penis if done too quickly, resulting in abnormalities of the erection such as curvature - sometimes as severe as Peyronie's disease. It sounds like there were emotional and personal factors that contributed to her actions. Connection between a couple is almost always more important than size. There are also penile sleeves that you can buy and wear like a condom during sex that can give you extra width and length. I would recommend that before trying extenders.
This is just my opinion but I feel for you. I have been down the road you are on. I believe that your woman is not being fully truthful and also has size issues. You are average and as Ian says, that should be enough for most.
The fact that it isn't enough for her, I am sorry to say, will always be a source of pain for you. The conversation you overheard will be most difficult for you to overcome and you should overcome the pain, by moving on to someone who rates lovemaking more by your efforts and care than by your size.
Good Luck. 1KG
I havent been down your road but am not what you would call endowed. I think my wife is okay with it but then again she is very tight even after all these years. I agree with 1KG. Penis size may always be an issue for her and you. It is obvious she may prefer larger men. I think it is sort of shallow to base sex on one physical aspect. Suppose you liked women with large breasts only and she had small ones? Whatever happened to love? I think we sometimes and too often get caught up in size of things whether it be breasts, penis or a car. If she is that stuck on larger penises, you may want to say good by. I am sorry. There are women that may say you are too big for them and that is no joke. Good luck
Personally I think the penis size thing is a red herring. If she was really into you she would enjoy whatever size penis you have. Sure the penis size of the other man may have been an attraction but I’m sure there a woman out there who have nicer breasts or nicer ass than her…that doesn’t mean you aren’t satisfied by her body. In order for you to have a better sex life it’s your relationship you need to work on…not the size of your penis.
Thanks for all the replies. We are working on the relationship but at times I do feel "checked out". I need to deal with my insecurities on my own in order to deal with this marriage or any possible relationship, should this one not last. Paul, you are right, I have seen nicer breast - ass, etc but that does not mean I'm dissatisfied. I may or may not have been insecure before the affair but going through it and learning some things I probably should never have known, has crippled me. Now I'm exercising (body - not penis :)) and focusing on myself. Reading and educating myself has been a major help. Yes I do wish I was bigger but keeping a good work out regimen and staying healthy definitely helps my confidence. If she really is dissatisfied, then eventually we will part and I'll move on but until, I'll try to keep a positive attitude. That requires daily reminders though :)
Mirgtager
I can sympathize with your situation. A number of years ago I found my wife at the time was having intimate communications with an old boyfriend of hers. As I struggled to try to save the marriage my self esteem did a real nose dive. In hindsight I think my now ex was trying to justify her feeings by finding fault with me...and I was owning all of it. What helped me was seeing a counsellor who objectively identified real shortcomings on my part while dismissing the imagined ones.