Never had an Orgasm and have NO desire for sex
Hi,
I am thirty years old and have never had an Orgasm. that doesn't really bother me as much as the fact that I have NO desire to have sex. If I never have sex I would be ok. I am currently married and I have sex with my husband, but it is not bcause I am interested. I have never felt aroused or desire for it. Evern during foreplay I just don't feel anything. I have had my hormones tested and the doctors said everything looks ok. I even had exams and they said things looks good there too. I even went to a sex therapist with no luck. I would really like to find out what is wrong with me. The only time I have any type of sensation is when I am dreaming. I don't have them often. When I have sexual dreams I can feel myself about to orgasm but I never do.
Chrissy, congratulations to you for reaching out. Normally I'd recommend a sex therapist, but in your case, I want to first suggest that some people are 'asexual' and don't have any burn or desire to have sex (my partner among them). Normal vs abnormal is a label you should avoid in examining your "feelings" about sex. My projection, my intuition, tells me that you might benefit from seeing a psychotherapist in order to find out what is "beneath" this lack of sexual interest. Not "what is wrong with you" as that is a judgment others make--but the "why". I'm betting that something from your childhood is suppressed and interfering with having sexual desires. I'm NOT a MD or trained therapist. I just want you to find answers to your questions and accept yourself no matter what. You are also to be commended for being a willing sex partner to your husband. That connection is, as you've surmised, so important in your relationship. google Betty Dodson, as well. Blessings, WD
It sounds like you've taken a lot of proactive steps to understand what's going on? A very small percentage of people are asexual, without a clear cause. But it sounds like you're having sexual dreams that are leading to arousal -- what's the content of those dreams? When you worked with the sex therapist, did you get any insights? Since you're able to have sexual dreams, do you have any thoughts about what might be holding you back? Have you ever experienced sexual desire?