Dry Spell
It has been a while since I have had sex, but I have recently found a woman who has expressed interest. With past partners I have performed well enough, but I am worried for this new one. I am worried that because of the large time since sexual activity of any kind that I won't perform to what I am accustomed to. I have had some trouble with early ejaculation and other things in similar situations. Any tips to uphold a rep?
Typically, when a person is more focused on their performance than their connection with their partner, it works against them because it increases the anxiety and the pressure. If, however, you focus on what is erotic and pleasurable to you and your partner, and allow yourself to enjoy the experience, you will have a much smoother time of things. If this is a new partner, there is no "rep" to uphold, so relax. Be connected and enjoy her. If you find your mind ruminating about performance issues or anxious thoughts, take a relaxing breath and turn your attention to something about her body that you really like. Your mind can only focus on one thing at a time - so make it something pleasurable!
If she's interested in you (not just for sex) she'll understand if you explain that it's been a while. Most men don't realize this, but we women typically consider it a compliment if you occasionally finish early. Just be sure to use other parts of your body to give her all the pleasure she can take and there won't be any problem. As the newness wears off you won't feel so anxious about it and she'll know that, no matter what, you take care of her needs.