Im single and I only want to masturbate?
Hi, I'm a single 23 year old guy. I have a problem with masturbation to porn and Ive been doing it since I was 15. Ive had sex before a few times, when I was 18 and with one girl. After she broke up with me I didn't masturbate at all as I was depressed for awhile, but picked it up again.
Ive never had an actual relationship with a girl because Ive had self esteem issues in the past that prevented me from approaching in a romantic way. I used to have bad acne until I was 20 and got it cleared up. Only now, I have unattractive scarring. I'm also not muscular like other guys, so I sort of have body image issues.
Ive masturbated so much that I dont even desire the real thing because porn is so convenient. I feel like such a loser for doing it but I have a sexual need that has to be released or else Ill get frustrated. Im really afraid Ill end up alone the rest of my life. I dont want to go to S.A.A. as I feel it wont work. I would really appreciated any help an expert can give....
Sounds like you have some self-esteem issues wrapped up in there. Porn and masturbating are totally convenient, and very different from having sex and being intimate with another person.
If you want to have a relationship with another person, it sounds like you're going to need to at least quit with the negative self-talk and really start taking care of yourself. Working out and eating well may help a little with your body image, but if you're spending time talking down to yourself, it's time to work on that. SLAA meetings could definitely help; they always say, "Keep coming back, it works if you work it", so why not try it out and try to work it?
Good luck! Let us know how it's going.
You seem to already be giving up on your options and placing your own road-blocks. S.A.A. and S.C.A. can be very helpful, so can working with a therapist. But often, you need to do both of these together to help you stay off the porn. When it gets to the point that you don't want anything else, you need to stop completely for several months - and usually people need the support of S.A.A. or S.C.A. and a therapist to do it. Good luck - don't put it off!