no hope
I am sure you have heard some crazy things in your time, but i bet this one will take the cake. I am a healthy (extremely healthy), tall lean/skinny man..(6'4" 160lbs) to be exact..I am also a virgin..yep..way past the age of 40+. I get either put in the "friend zone" or "you way to skinny" for me thing..yeah, i get that a lot. I do have healthy sex drive, that i would love to explore with someone but women can't get past that. Is there something i am giving off thats a huge turnoff or something..i mean, where did i mess up where i missed out . its frustrating, because i am sure i could a great guy or bf if someone would have the patience with me but i don't think that would ever happen..
Yes, you are very thin - right on the border of unhealthy thin (if you go by BMI). Is there a reason you are so thin (exercise a lot, etc. since you mention "extremely healthy")? As humans, we are programmed to be attracted to what we instinctually consider healthy, and you being very thin may not be cutting it. That said, I have seen that there is someone out there for everyone. What do you think about your weight? Do you think that people may be judging you as unhealthy or sickly just by the way you look?
Well, have always been thin all my life. its just the way it is..i have or had a very high metabolism. believe me, i have tried every known thing to man to gain weight..it just doesn't work for me..so i have come to accept it..which is fine. i am extremely athletic, always have been..i have run 7 marathons, biked across the east coast, have done 8 half iron mans and one full one..even with weight training etc, it still has no effect..i get stared at a lot due to my height and then my body type i suppose but i have come to accept it as i mentioned..we won't even mention some of the comments i have heard..it makes me cringe.
I'd be interested to know what your approach is when talking to women you are interested in? Where do you tend to meet women? Based on the limited information you've provided, it sounds like you do have the potential to be a really great partner to someone special. But there is obviously something lost in translation at some point along the line. So if you could tell us a bit more about where you meet women, what your general approach is, etc., we might be able to help a little bit more!
well..thats just it in a way. on the surface, i am very affable , good nature, down to earth, very easy going, easy to talk to ..but deep inside, I'm extremely shy when it comes to women..i wouldn't or don't even know how to talk to them at all..its a block i suppose that well I'm either getting put in the friend zone because of being the nice guy syndrome, or the way to thin to be seen with category which is almost even worst. meet them? well, i don't go to bars, so thats out..maybe on a gym, restaurant, bookstore. ..i just can't figure out how to get to point a.
my general approach is low key, everything on the surface..i don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable around me..i tend to smile a lot, and put people at ease with light humor.. then i i get a sense of where they are i.e., are they with someone, seeing someone, etc. then there is the body language that maybe i might overlook or am not seeing that says, nah, i don't think so..
I think triathlon clubs, swim clubs, bike clubs and running clubs are all great places to meet people of the opposite sex. Right off the bat you would know you share a common interest. If you don't already belong to one join and volunteer to help out. As a volunteer you'll get to meet the most number of people and have an excuse for asking their name.
Declinbb,
This is just a guess but I think you had it right when you mentioned "nice guy". I was one, always waiting for my "shot", never comfortable "creating" the opportunity around women.
When "nice guys" get well, they don't turn into a-holes, they turn into Integrated Men who are emotionally healthy and able to get their needs met. Practice being more assertive.
This part may sound counter-intuitive but hang out more with the guys. When meeting new people, step forward and don't wait when around women to "gauge" their temperament but simply be yourself, stay engaged and always make eye contact.
Just a thought from a reformed "nice guy", I hope it helps.
1KG