Sexually frustrated, With serial cheating spouse, Looking for couples counseling
Can anyone recommend a good couples counsellor in Metro Boston area? With my husband, been together for 8 years; married for 4 years; have a 3 year old. His 2nd marriage. Our initial years were great. During pregnancy (he) and first two baby years (mutual) our sex life has all come to a hault, but for only occasional encounters, which made me always wonder and he kept brushing it off. In the last months and weeks, slowly I found out that my husband has been cheating on me since the day we met; with multiple women, cyber sex, in person, emails, sex sites, etc. I am sexually frustrated with no intimacy with a man, while I still have a great looking man in my living room; he wanted to have his cake and eat it, too; hoping to never get caught. He is still is not owning up to it, and is quiet. I think he is a sex addict, narcisst, ADD, a pathological liar; know only few things from his past to think they may have played a role. Any recommendations for a marriage counsellor in Metro Boston?
Ouch!! That is one difficult combination - sex addict who does not own up to it. Unless he wants to change, he will not be fully engaged in any therapy. If he does want to change, please check out the AASECT website to locate a therapist.
Jazn
If your husband is all the things you say he is I don't see marriage counselling as being a solution, at least not yet.
As a sex addict, narcissist, ADD sufferer and pathological liar he will require intensive work on his own to learn to manage these issues. It seems to me that would take years and would only work if he was motivated to make it work.
Only once he has these issues under control would it make sense to go to marriage counselling to work to get past his past behaviour. It occurs to me that could be a long time coming and only you know whether you would be able to trust him again at that point.
You stated in your subject line, 'sexually frustrated, with serial cheating spouse, looking for couples counseling'. I think the best course of action for you at the moment may be to start going to couseling alone.
As the 2 previous posts state.. he will not change any of his behavior unless HE wants to change.. and you can't force that on anyone. I know from personal experience after being with a similar man for 9 yrs, and I finally left him. It was hard, but doable, and I'm happier than ever.
The best option for you and your child is for you to change and improve your life for the better. That all begins with you.