BORED!!!
Next month my wife and I will have been together for 20 years, married 17. To be blunt, I've become bored with my own penis and using it for sex. I'm a very tactile person and am knowledgeable of a lot of "kinks" which would add adventure and different sensations to our sex life. I've always been very giving to any woman I've been with, often to the degree of providing pleasure without wanting reciprocation. But now I find myself wanting to dramatically expand our sexual menu. Basically, she has gone frigid to anything that doesn't directly involve my penis or cunnilingus. I know everything there is to know about getting her off in such ways, and I'm bored with it all.
Now we're at an impasse. We're not having sex at all. She couldn't care less about adding to our sexual repertoire. I, apparently, care too much about it.
I can totally relate to what you're experiencing. It's really natural to want to expand your sexual horizons. Can I ask you -- are you masturbating a lot to porn? I've noticed with some of the guys I work with that they're getting accustomed to high levels of visual novelty via porn and it's making it harder to get aroused by real sex -- just a thought. Also, to what degree are you trying to arouse your wife's imagination and sense of fantasy. I've found that fantasy -- sharing them, reading erotica together -- often helps couples to get more creative, and that without the fantasy it's much harder to create an interest. Also, you might want to check out our ebook "52 Weeks of Amazing Sex" which has some fun scenarios that will help make sex more creative without feeling threatening or too extreme to your wife.
A lot of women really want a man to take charge and just do something. And women need a man to get their brains turned on before the body can respond. It's why that stupid "50 Shades" book is such a hit...that guy works on her brain and her body. Your wife may have some hormonal issues but if she's responsive to sex and oral sex, it may be something else you're doing or not doing. Tell her you miss the intimacy, try a fantasy night each week, trading off who gets to name the game. Men aren't the only ones who get bored in bed. But if you think she's "frigid" you've got to get introspective and see if there's something you've done or are doing outside the bedroom that's put her in the freezer.
So if I understand what you're saying - you would like to explore other areas of your body for stimulation besides your penis (maybe anus?) but she doesn't want to go there unless it's your penis or you giving her oral sex?
This can be difficult if she feels that such other activities are "dirty", "wrong", or "gross." Is this what is happening?