The Doctor is In!

Feeling kind of weird around new partner

By Often Shy on Feb 13, 2017 at 11:03 AM

Hi! A 32 y.o. guy here. I've been dating this girl (2 years older) for about 2 months. We like and care about each other, and we're slowly falling in love. The thing is I haven't been intimate with anyone for 18 months or so and yes, I have performance anxiety. Last time I wasted three out of four condoms while trying to achieve penetration. I get flaccid when I put it on (nothing new here, I guess), but what bothers me the most is that I get rock hard (and I mean HARD) after I run out of condoms. Anyway, in the meantime, it scares me that we act such as freaks. I mean, lots of dry-humping, oral, mutual masturbation... Is that normal at our age? I even find arousing things that have nothing to do with penetration, or are the complete opposite. For instance, it turns me on when she sees I'm flaccid and small (I'm more a grower than a shower), or to grind her from behind while she has her panties on. She likes similar things, as well. Are we normal? What can we do from now on? Thank you!

6 replies

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Kate McCombs, MPH | Feb 15, 2017 at 2:17 AM | Reply | Report

Nothing you describe sounds freaky or out of the ordinary. Those all sounds like very normal things to be turned on by. I would just enjoy what turns you on, especially since it sounds like she is super into it too.

Often Shy | Feb 16, 2017 at 6:47 PM | Reply | Report

Thank you for your input, Kate. And what about the other thing? That issue with erections? Are they normal at my age, as well?

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Kate McCombs, MPH | Feb 19, 2017 at 8:56 PM | Reply | Report

Occasional erection challenges are definitely common at your age. Yes.

ALTI | Feb 15, 2017 at 9:36 AM | Reply | Report

I have that issue with condoms at times. I hate them, they get in my head. It's more of a mental thing than anything. Also perhaps try using magnum bareskin, they feel really good and with a larger condom they aren't as snug and don't cut off circulation or feel too tight which I find for myself with an average sized condom.

This has been an issue for me and my girl and what I just told you helped me make some headway.

CE | Feb 15, 2017 at 6:56 PM | Reply | Report

There is no age limit on the things you describe. There are no rules about what should and shouldn't be. Whatever turns you and your partner on is okay.

gpc2012 | Feb 17, 2017 at 10:17 AM | Reply | Report

Sounds like you are already in lust and fast falling in love. A suggestion regarding the condoms. I had a girlfriend when I was in my early 20's that would put on my condom with her mouth it took some practice and a couple sticky chins but after we figured it out it was absolutely the only way to put one on. I was so happy when she decided to go ono the pill. Also have you considered making the need for a condom round 2 with the first orgasm out of the way you might be able to work it out a little better

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