The Doctor is In!

sex drive is gone with me

By Ken on Mar 17, 2017 at 10:59 PM

My wife and I were recently married a few months ago. We dated long distance for a period of time before marrying. We both felt our connection was very strong as we spent a great deal of time getting to know each other. The problem is, she is unable to bring herself to have sex with me. We had sex a few times and do not have any at all. We haven't even tried in 3, going on 4 weeks. I am concerned for a few reasons. She had a sex drive before.

Today she even admitted, that before she moved in with me and we got married, she had sex ( an affair) on a regular basis with an ex-boyfriend. She has been faithful since, but it is discouraging that sex with me is so hard for her. Her last boyfriend was abusive and physically assaulted her, but she was so turned on she risked pregnancy with him while lying to me about it.

I feel like I am just the "safe" guy and not the one she loves. Does it seem like I am probably right and that this marriage will not last?

1 reply

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Kate McCombs, MPH | Mar 18, 2017 at 4:18 PM | Reply | Report

It sounds like there's some serious trust issues beyond the sex drive issue. It would be very understandable if you didn't want to stay in your marriage.

In situations like these, it's possible to move past these obstacles, but it usually requires a lot of emotional work and commitment from both parties. And likely some good relationship therapy. If that's something you both really wanted to do, there might be some hope.

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