Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

  • Commented on Ejaculating quick
    Priligy is not available in the US. Not sure about Private Gym, it's basically a program around Kegels that's been FDA registered as far as I know, not approved. Kegel exercises can be helpful in pulling back from point of...
  • Commented on Advice for... An interesting first time.
    I don't want to over-sentimentalize your first time, but why do you want it to be with a stranger via a sex ad? As for STIs, you should be fine with a condom. In terms of your muscle condition, I...
  • Commented on I've been getting curious lately?
    How old are you and Nicholas?...
  • Commented on My husband always wants sex.What can I do?
    He definitely has a high libido, and I understand that there's a discrepancy between the amount of sex he wants and your own desires. I don't want to jump to the conclusion that there's anything wrong with his levels of...
  • Commented on My Insecurities About Sexual Ability
    Some studies have shown that as women get closer to orgasm that parts of the female brain associated with high anxiety and stress deactivate. So you have to be able to turn off in order to turn on. Just focus...
  • Commented on Sex advice?
    I wonder if he's experience arousal non-concordance in which he may get physiologically aroused (an erection), so it appears that he's erect, but he's not fully mentally aroused, so he loses his erection. Maybe focus on more mental stimulation at...
  • Commented on Masturbation over Sex
    If you haven't had sex with your husband since you've been married and he's masturbating to porn, then I really think you should see a couples therapist. How do you know he has erection problems? Have you tried to have...
  • Commented on cant keep him hard during sex
    So his issue is that he loses his erection during intercourse? Is he on any medications that would affect erectile quality? Have you had a conversation with him about it? Is he anxious about the sex he's having with you?...
  • Commented on Feeling Inadequate
    Have you talked to her about this? Are you sure she's checking out other men?...
  • Commented on Sex advice?
    Great point!...
  • Commented on Ejaculation Control
    Many women have a natural propensity for multiple orgasms, while all men have refractory period -- the interval between ejaculations before a man can get erect again. Sounds like you are good at exerting ejaculatory control, but if you want...
  • Commented on hands in the Vagina
    How about trying a vibrator to enhance your manual stimulation?...
  • Commented on Almost got Bent inside
    What position is this happening during?...
  • Commented on confused
    It's a very common fantasy for women, in fact lesbian porn is more popular amongst heterosexual women than men. I would say to enjoy your fantasy as a fantasy and maybe even share with your husband and see how it...
  • Commented on Submissive princess
    So I assume you're talking about consensual BDSM? Her fantasies are not uncommon and as long as you're including safe practices and aftercare, you should be able to enjoy this, assuming you can get into it as well. I think...
  • Commented on My 21 y/o girlfriend can't hit the big "O"
    Okay, I just want to make sure we're talking about having an orgasm and not squirting, since you mention both? First question, is your girlfriend able to have an orgasm when she masturbates?...
  • Commented on Sex advice?
    For a short period of time, try taking intercourse off the table and all surrounding pressure to have intercourse. Focus on outercourse: oral sex, manual stimulation, etc. But also commit to creating windows of time where you simply generate arousal...
  • Commented on Sexual advice
    Does this feel different than when you ejaculate via masturbation?...
  • Commented on Frustration over my partner fantasying during sex
    It's very common for people to fantasize during sex, it's a way of helping the mind deactivate from outside stressors. Many fantasies are taboos too, as that's sort of the point of fantasies. Don't take it personally, and I believe...
  • Commented on Hysterectomy: 6 weeks without PIV.
    You should really talk to your MD, but will stimulation of the vulva and clitoris be off limits? Sorry, life often includes these unwanted pauses, but make sure to take care of your health. Have you gotten a second opinion...
  • Commented on Intense sex sessions
    Try an over the counter spray called Promescent. I've referred many people, and they've all had positive experiences with being able to increase ejaculatory control -- https://www.promescent.com/...
  • Commented on Attraction towards aunty
    I don't think it's advisable to have sex with your aunt. I can understand that you have fantasies and that there's a potent taboo, but the effects on the family system down the line will not be positive. Can you...
  • Commented on Virginity complications and love.
    Why does your first time need to be with a virgin? Can you say a bit about this belief? If you're with the woman you love, that's what is important....
  • Commented on Is heat body and cold body compatible for sex ? Please help us with an answer
    I don't quite understand your condition. Have you seen a doctor about it? I would really go to an MD for a professional opinion. I've never heard of an unusually high body heat effecting the quality of sex; generally the...
  • Commented on Public Sex-Bad or Ok?
    Public sex is very exciting -- the thrill of being outside, the thrill of possibly getting caught, a new environment. If you do get caught it could be embarrassing or even lead to an arrest. Yes public sex is a...
  • Commented on Before diving into role play...
    I think there's a highly probably chance that enjoying role-playing together will increase your interest in each other and make sex more exciting, whereas not increasing the excitement would lead you both to be more bored in your sex life...
  • Commented on I want to have sex more than my boyfriend?
    Why is he home all day doing nothing? That could lead to depression, which would depress his libido. Or he could be home masturbating to fill the time, which would also deplete his libido. What are you two doing to...
  • Commented on Male - Can only ejaculate on his back
    I don't get it. Why doesn't she enjoy being on top? Figure out a sex script that works. Maybe you start out with a lot of missionary, let her enjoy her orgasm and then transition to woman on top so...
  • Commented on Is she faking it??
    Everyone is different, so she may indeed be having orgasms. If she was faking it, there could be lots of reasons: how she thinks a woman is supposed to behave, to keep you sexually interested, etc. You really need to...
  • Commented on Cravings
    If you love your boyfriend, then figure this out together. There will always be men in the world who are willing to offer you their penis to perform oral sex on, but it's harder to find someone you're in love...
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