Ian Kerner

  • Commented on Inexperienced girlfriend, I want to help her get off
    Make sure you're both in an environment that is relaxing and safe. Before you get to genital play, you might want to give her a massage and just ask her to let you know when something feels good versus not...
  • Commented on Chickened Out
    My advice would be to enjoy this as a fantasy. Fantasies are fantasies because they're just that -- fantasies. Not reality. And fantasies often allow us to explore taboos that we wouldn't actually want to live out....
  • Commented on 3some with strangers
    As long as you're both on the same page and agree that it would be fun, it's worth exploring. You should discuss quite a bit first and even fantasize about the scenario you'd enjoy and make sure there are no...
  • Commented on It only goes half way in?
    The average circumference of the male penis is about 5 inches. Have you had problems with actual intercourse. Have you tried masturbating with objects of varying shapes? Also the vagina naturally tents, but for you the arousal process with an...
  • Commented on new boyfriend doesn't want sex when I'm finally coming into my own as a woman
    really hard to speculate, I think you need to ask him point blank what's going on and get a fuller sense of his sexual history and what sort of STI he has....
  • Commented on FRUSTRATED
    When you say she bleeds, is the sex you're having with her causing pain?...
  • Commented on Going Down on Her
    You sound smart and intuitive and perhaps your girlfriend feels more vulnerable or exposed receiving oral sex than other sex acts? Have you tried to go down on her with the lights off or extremely dimmed?...
  • Commented on How I Can Find Sex To Be Less Boring
    Is sex primarily a physical act for you? Are you engaging the mental/creative aspects? Are you igniting your sense of fantasy?...
  • Commented on Pull out Method during Ovulation
    It's possible that ovulation was adding to the sense of intimacy she was experiencing....
  • Commented on Pain in vagina
    At what point does she feel stomach pain and does she experience this during actual sex? Could be pelvic floor related, but if it's only during phone sex and not actual sex then that's odd. If so, what is she...
  • Commented on Oral Sex and Bacterial Vaginosis
    I haven't heard of this issue, where is your wife getting this information? But what about manual stimulation with lubrication if your wife isn't in the mood for fellatio?...
  • Commented on Masterbating and the lying fiance
    I don't see a direct correlation between masturbation and your fiance's level of vaginal transudation (lubrication). Vaginal dryness can be the result of a lack of desire, hormonal changes, stress and other lifestyle factors. Her low desire is more likely...
  • Commented on Sex advice
    It sounds like your husband doesn't understand much about female sexuality. Male sexual desire tends to be spontaneous, meaning that men don't need to be aroused to have sexual interest. Men are much more likely to be ready to go,...
  • Posted No age-limit on Great Sex to The Sex Doctors are In!
    Contrary to the recent musings of Miley Cyrus that sex goes kaput once you hit 40, there's research to support that older people are right to have "great sexpectations."But research has shown that as people age, they don't necessarily forget how to...
  • Commented on New Relationship Lacking Chemistry: Fatal Flaw? Or Can We Work On It?
    Great comments everyone, I've learned a lot -- we'll be featuring a new question soon, and I hope the conversation is as good as this one!...
  • Commented on Sex problems
    I don't understand. Did she hurt herself during sex and now she's afraid? Or is the issue related to premature ejaculation?...
  • Commented on oral sex
    It might be worth some couples therapy to discuss the adjustments to your sex life. Would she be open to incorporating a vibrator into the action?...
  • Commented on Have Always Struggled to find the Big O
    Sounds like you're not getting enough clitoral stimulation during intercourse. Have you tried the female superior "woman on top" position?...
  • Commented on Foreplay and Quick Hard-On
    This sounds like rapid ejaculation. Has it always been this way? We have lots of literature on the topic, both for free and in our premium guide to overcoming premature ejaculation. There are exercises you can do to help with...
  • Commented on Bladder feels like exploding everytime he thrusts
    It's possible you have an infection -- or has it always been this way? Are there any positions in which you feel it less? What about when you're on top and in control? Is it only when he thrusts? You...
  • Commented on New Relationship Lacking Chemistry: Fatal Flaw? Or Can We Work On It?
    Thank you for the great dialogue!...
  • Commented on Sex, fear, paranoid need help
    Perhaps there are two separate issues in your post: one is your sense of being judged, and psychotherapy might be beneficial. On the other hand, many people are uncomfortable with public displays of affection. When you say that you feel...
  • Commented on Advice on bringing another man into our bedroom
    What does your wife think about this scenario?...
  • Commented on New Relationship Lacking Chemistry: Fatal Flaw? Or Can We Work On It?
    Can attraction be created where it never existed in the first place? That's one of the questions for the ages. Personally, I think it's very hard to manufacture attraction....
  • Commented on Need more sex from wife (not what you think!!!!)
    It sounds like you both have a lot of pressure, routine and responsibility. It's important that you've tried to address the issue, and continue to make efforts to communicate. You've painted a clear picture of some aspects of your life,...
  • Commented on Fear of Intimacy
    Depending upon where you live I would suggest that you seek out trauma-based psychotherapy. You might also want to read the work of Wendy Maltz. But getting yourself into a program of psychotherapy will really help you manage the panic...
  • Posted Long Distance Relationships to Sex on the Brain
    The end of summer doesn't just mean it's time to buckle down at work or head back to school. For many college students, autumn also signals a disruption in summertime loving, in other words, a return to the dreaded long-distance...
  • Commented on Bedtime is for Romantic Time & Sleep, right?
    Try to make a rule in which you make your bedroom a bit more of a special place and keep "outside the bedroom stuff" outside the bedroom. It's very common for couples to bring all sorts of stuff -- work,...
  • Commented on charlie horse during an orgasm
    As people get sexually aroused and closer to orgasm, there's quite a bit of muscular tension throughout the body. Have you experimented with different positions? Does she have a previous injury in the area where she gets cramps? Does it...
  • Commented on A few questions .. part 2
    Please try to ask a single question within a thread as it gets too confusing otherwise. Many couples are quiet during sex, but perhaps if you start moaning or vocalizing a bit, she will follow you lead....
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