Joe Kort, Ph.D, MSW

  • Posted Why Anal and Prostate Play Is Worth Exploring to The Sex Doctors are In!
    Back in January, hip-hop artist Kanye West found himself embroiled in a Twitter feud with rapper Whiz Khalifa. Soon, model and ex-girlfriend Amber Rose got in on the action. "Awww @kanyewest are u mad I'm not around to play in...
  • Commented on Porn trouble
    As a Certified Sex Addiction therapist I can assure you there are plenty of us who would help you with this and not bring religion nor sex negative attitudes to your journey. I would first try and help you stop...
  • Commented on freeze fetish
    It is true that fetishes do not go away. Like Madeleine states, the best way to treat is identifying the nonsexual meanings of the fetish and crack the erotic code by identifying what he is looking for unconsciously through the...
  • Commented on Non-Pornographic "Instructional" Videos, Exist?
    Another excellent site for non-pornographic films is www.sexsmartfilms.com...
  • Commented on When you are a 70 year old woman living alone?
    I said that to Channah only because my clients and friends say it all the time before fully giving the men a chance oe realizing you can set boundaries with dating partners. That said itntotally makes sense why their baggage...
  • Commented on Personal Grooming Preferences
    A lot of younger men prefer women to be completely shaven or waxed. Many Therapists and those of older generations have speculated that it is a desire for the women to look adolescent or pre-pubescent which is not true for...
  • Commented on Why do some men want to ejaculate onto or all over a woman?
    A lot of men say that for a women to take his ejaculate anywhere other than inside of her is a sign she is giving herself up to him. Whether it be swallowing, taking it on her face or on...
  • Commented on Jealousy
    I have seen this kind of jealousy when there is nothing to base it on from a partner stemming from insecure attachment in childhood. My questions would be: Were you close to your parents? Did you feel securely attached and...
  • Commented on Sexual Satisfaction After Prostrate Cancer Surgery
    I have had a number of men tell me in my practice that they are aroused by thinking about and talking to their wives and girlfriends about their having been with other men in the past. This is more common...
  • Commented on When you are a 70 year old woman living alone?
    Channah, what do you mean the two men interested have too much baggage? Why can't you still go out with them and set boundaries on things you do and don't want to talk about? What about going on some dating...
  • Commented on Internet Porn Gone Too Far?
    I agree with Ian completely. Does she know you are looking at porn? I see a lot of relationship conflict in my office because of secrecy around this. I recommend talking to her about it. Another idea is talking to...
  • Commented on Am i bi?
    Sexual orientation, sexual fantasies and sexual behaviors don't always line up. Someone can be heteroflexible where they are straight but sometimes enjoy sex with the same sex. Lesbians and gays often have sex at least once with the opposite sex...
  • Commented on Submissive Heterosexual Men
    Good point about spanking Veronica. it can be about submission and not humiliation. In this man's case it could be just that this is his way of expressing his feminine side or his submissive side and that he cannot do...
  • Commented on Submissive Heterosexual Men
    I don't know of any research that shows this is genetic or physiologically hereditary. Usually these men are heterosexual. Few, if any, gay men sexually enjoy wearing women's clothes. Those gay men who dress in drag do it for entertainment...
  • Commented on Ex's Addiction
    Dee, I can't say whether or not your boyfriend has a sexual addiction but from what you write he meets the criteria. Like Dr. Castellano's article states, there are a lot of behaviors that can fall under the umbrella of...
  • Commented on Porn Movies
    I totally agree with Dr. Castellanos. I would add the idea of moving the conversation away from the porn and sex and talk more about how you feel he isn't considering you and that you are hurt and sad that...
  • Commented on Internet Porn: I Read Your Article
    I recommend eliminating the porn altogether for now to bring back the sexual energy into your relationship. Yes porn can be addictive but you are not providing indicators that this has happened to you. Even if it had recovery is...
  • Commented on Open Relationship / Swinging (continued)
    My suggestion is that whatever contact you have with him that you have it together and that he know that there are boundaries and no side conversations or contact. The couples I know who open their relationship are always guarded...
  • Commented on Confused About Masturbation and New to Dating
    Yes reaching orgasm with a shower massage is masturbation. You don't have to touch yourself with your hands as many women do it also with a vibrator. Some would say that masturbating in the shower with shower massage is sex...
  • Commented on Married to a man that has worked with porn for years..
    Does your husband see his former work as contributing to the problems you are having now? Was the therapy he was in addressing this directly? Those images can take a long time to reconcile that real life is not like...
  • Commented on 25+ Years with Pornography
    I disagree that sex addiction treatment can be counterproductive. If used as the only treatment modality for compulsive porn use I can see it being ineffective as with any orthodox approach to solve a human problem. Sex Addiction treatment can...
  • Commented on porn
    I agree Deirdre. It absolutely can give men the wrong idea about how women want to be treated. There is a great website www.makelovenotporn.com and the author is excellent and speaks to this. Porn for men is like romance novels...
  • Commented on S&M?
    I completely agree with Gail. Always let your partner know and don't assume they do know as they could misread your responses. Also the breast and nipple areas are very sensitive and bruise easily which is not unusual. The issue...
  • Commented on Husband Attracted to Pre-op Transsexuals
    It is important to know that his attraction to pre-operation and non-operation M2F transsexuals doesn't necessarily reflect anything on your marriage at all. Fantasies and sexual desires are often arousing because they are inherently taboo. It doesn't sound like your...
  • Commented on porn
    I completely agree with Dr. Castellanos. Most men look at porn and most do it behind their partner's back. The biggest reason reported is that they don't think their partners will understand and they are ashamed of having sexual feelings...
  • Commented on Bi Sexual Feelings
    Travis, your story is one that I see most often in my office. Sometimes it is about a gay identity formation, other times it is bisexual identity (which is very real) and other times it is just a bicurious sexual...
  • Commented on Honesty About One's Self
    Also I have helped some men who are "homosexual" in their orientation but don't want to live "gay". In other words for them coming out would be living a life of depression rather than the other way around. This demands...
  • Commented on Wife Watching-Problem or Normal?
    I completely agree Dr. Castellano's answer. I would add that there may be a homoerotic interest in watching other men. This is not homosexual nor gay but rather an interest in watching another man which is also very common. The...
  • Commented on Being Bisexual in a Relationship
    I have to ask what you mean when you say your "gay" side. Do you have same sex attractions to males? Or do you have sexual desires for sex with males? Or both? there can be a difference. I would...
  • Commented on Child Sexual Abuse and Adult Sex
    Going to a therapist once monthly for this kind of sexual abuse is not enough in my opininon. You need to go weekly and a seasoned and trained sexual abuse therapist knows this. You are not teaching yourself an instinct....
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