Why People in Happy Relationships Cheat
In her book Not "Just Friends" Dr. Shirley Glass reported that 82 percent of unfaithful people started out being acquaintances, neighbors or coworkers with their affair partners. In other words, people who are unfaithful to their partners weren't looking for a relationship or seeking out strangers in a bar; it just happened.
Just about anyone is vulnerable to an emotional affair. While Glass admits that couples who are extremely connected--sexually, psychologically and intellectually--are the least likely to commit emotional infidelity, reasonably happy people cheat just like unhappily partnered people do.
Usually, emotional infidelity occurs when the lines of communication in a relationship temporarily weaken or a couple doesn't share a sense of clear boundaries about what is and is not acceptable behavior. Someone who is happy at home can suddenly find themselves overly-attached to someone they spend a lot of time with at work. Or, a normal feeling of sexual frustration in a long-term relationship is suddenly eased by a new and exciting attraction.
7 ways to safeguard your relationship against infidelity
A few tried and true strategies can help a couple prevent emotional infidelity before it starts. Safeguarding against an emotional affair is the best way to minimize the risk that either person will unwittingly fall prey to it:
- Talk about emotional infidelity, so both partners are aware that cheating can happen without sex.
- Discuss how the workplace and the Internet can be conducive to emotional affairs.
- Think twice about reconnecting with past partners, whether after a reunion or via the Internet. Social networking sites and email have made it easy to track down former partners, and intimacy can develop quickly in these mediums.
- Agree to share more about your day, as well as your desires and your frustrations with each other than you do with anyone else in your life.
- Choose friendships with people who support your relationship.Friends who encourage you to leave a relationship rather than problem-solve are dangerous to the relationship.
- Understand that attraction to other people is normal; it's not a sign you're in the wrong relationship.
- Have realistic expectations for your relationship. Long-term relationships are often more loving than exciting. Likewise, the butterflies of new attraction always wear off eventually.