Sex on the Brain

with Ian Kerner

Love at first scent

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

Wondering if he's "the one"? Forget love at first sight and focus on "love at first scent." You know how a chance whiff of an old lover's perfume or cologne can send you right back into the agony and the ecstasy of that relationship? Even more homey smells, like your...

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Can (make that should) a woman have sex like a man?

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

In a recent editorial in the NY Times entitled Sex and Depression, Dr. Richard A. Friedman, M.D., writes of a female patient, "She was a 32-year-old woman who experienced a four- to six-hour period of intense depression and irritability after an orgasm, either alone or with a partner. It...

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Michelle and Barack Obama: relationship role-models

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

It doesn't take an expert in body-language to see that the First Couple is totallly into each other. Actually we don't have to speculate too much about the Obama's love-life because they've already told us a lot about it in a 1996 interview with the French newspaper Le Monde...

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Mechanical "male"functions: delayed ejaculation

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

In the last year I've not only seen a significant increase in the number of men who are grappling with some form of DE (delayed ejaculation) --guys who can only reach orgasm via masturbation, guys who can't reach it at all--I've also been hearing increasingly from the partners of...

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Sexual Fitness

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

A new study published in this month's Journal of the American College of Cardiology found that erectile dysfunction (ED) is often an early indicator of poor cardiovascular health. Researchers followed more than 2,300 men for an average of four years and found that men with ED had a 58...

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Sex and aging: Still crazy after all these years

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

As we age, both men and women take longer to become sexually aroused, and may lose the urgency to have sex they once had. In men, waning testosterone levels can make a guy moody, irritable and depressed, as well as decrease his libido. In women, the hormonal changes of...

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The power of fantasy

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

Sigmund Freud gave fantasy a bad name back in 1908 when he said, "A happy person never fantasizes, only a dissatisfied one." Granted, this is also the guy who said clitoral orgasms were immature, and fortunately, we've had a century of research (and impassioned women) to prove Freud wrong....

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Shortcomings: premature ejaculation

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

A new study out of Penn State Erie found that, according to therapists, social workers and physicians at least, the best sexual encounters last between seven and 13 minutes, not including foreplay. That's a far more reasonable timeframe for intercourse than most of us would've imagined, and upon hearing...

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Men fake it too!

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

With more and more men taking prescribed medications, it's time to talk about sexual side-effects and what may be happening, or in this case not happening, in the bedroom. We're all familiar with the now-infamous orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally. Meg Ryan is sitting across the table...

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Are you just dating someone "in the meantime?"

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

I hear it all the time: "I'm just dating him in the meantime." It reminds me of something Pablo Picasso said to aspiring artists: "Never take a part time job because it will become your full-time life." Dating "in the meantime" is based on the belief that time is infinite....

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The Cuddle Gap

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

Unlike the executives at Enron, a woman's orgasm never lies. They can tell a woman the truth about a sexual encounter, often whether she wants to know it or not. That's because the female orgasm releases a burst of oxytocin, also known as the cuddle hormone, which facilitates a...

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Does he have a Porn Problem?

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

For years David Duchovny, in the form of F.B.I. agent Fox Mulder, chased down aliens and told us that we're not alone. So what should he be told now, after publicly admitting that he doesn't just play a sex addict on TV, but also struggles with the issue in...

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Your Marriage: a New User's Guide

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

Being in a long-term relationship isn't easy: it not only takes a sense of responsibility, but also a sense of transparency. For example, at any given time, my wife can text me, email me, ping me, call me on the cell, try me on the home line, or sometimes...

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G-spot, or not?

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

Few phenomena in this world are sliced and diced more than the female orgasm: Did it happen? Was it good? Where did it come from? Does size matter? Why did one technique work last week, but not this week? A new study is likely to add even more speculation...

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Is it time for a dating-detox?

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

I had just given a lecture at a singles workshop in New York City when a young woman approached me. She was attractive, thoughtful, articulate, and warm--the kind of woman you wouldn't expect to have "major issues," at least from external appearances. "I need help," she confessed after a...

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Male Menopause: is it possible he's the one who's hormonal?

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

Is there really such a thing as "male menopause"? The conventional wisdom says that menopause is a "woman's condition," but as men advance into their 40s they also experience a progressive decline in hormone levels, namely testosterone. The result can be andropause, which is estimated to affect about 5 million...

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