PE and Me

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

My first book, She Comes First, began with the line "Confessions of a Premature Ejaculator." That was the hardest line I've ever had to write--and I'm a sex therapist. It's not easy to talk about sex in any circumstance, but I think premature ejaculators have it the toughest. Take erectile dysfunction (ED), for example. Medications like Viagra have brought ED into the spotlight and the mainstream, removing the stigma and making it easier to discuss with your partner and doctor. But men with PE haven't been so lucky--even though it's a bigger problem than ED.

As you'll learn later, there may soon be a pill for PE, too, along with other forms of FDA-approved treatments. But for now, we're stuck dealing with a lot of misconceptions and misinformation about PE. Because I've coped with this issue personally, I know just how difficult it can be to find accurate facts about it. When I was struggling with PE as a guy in my 20s, there was no Internet. As a result, there was very little information. There were few, if any, books on the subject or men's magazines that legitimately addressed issues related to male sexual health. It was almost impossible to get information about PE, and I certainly wasn't going to talk about it with anyone.

Today, the opposite is true. There's too much information, mainly due to the Internet, but also due to the rise in publications more oriented towards male issues. Five years ago I wrote an article for Men's Health about my trials and tribulations with PE, and it was exactly the kind of article I wish had been available when I was suffering, if only to know that I wasn't alone It should come as no surprise that I received hundreds of responses asking for more information than I could provide in just a few paragraphs.

Now I'm able to share everything that I've learned over the years . But I know that you're reading it in a cyclone of information, much of it wrong. Walk into a pharmacy and you'll find dozens of products promising to help you last as long as you like. Go on the Internet and you'll find tens of thousands of articles on the subject, most of which are filled with information that's dated or inaccurate.

It's been a while since I first wrote that line in She Comes First, but I'm passionate about this subject, I've dealt with PE, and while I haven't cured it--because it's not curable and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying--I am managing it and I've helped many others do the same. I'm also excited about everything that's happening on the landscape of PE solutions: We now know that PE can be addressed in a number of ways, both psychological and medical, and we have a much better understanding of its causes. I look forward to sharing more with you.

This blog entry was brought to you by Promescent, a topical spray that helps men (and their partners) manage PE and last longer during sex as part of an overall biopsychosocial solution. Unlike other PE sprays, Promescent was created by a seasoned urologist and has a unique formulation that absorbs into the skin so that partners don't experience any residual numbing. In a recent study that I co-conducted with Dr. Kristen Mark, PhD, men with subjective PE who used Promescent were able to last 164% longer during sex and their partners were more consistently able to reach orgasm. Viva la Vulva!