Advice from the Experts

An Ode to Comfort Sex

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

Sex with a spouse is like ordering takeout from your favorite Chinese restaurant: Sure, you know what you're getting and there's no need to ponder the menu, but the meal is still consistently yummy and generally hits the spot. The virtues of comfort sex are vastly underrated. We live in...

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6 Reasons Why You Should Take A Second Look At The Kama Sutra Manual

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

Not enjoying sex as much as you feel you should? It could be that you haven't yet discovered the best position (or positions) for providing the both of you with maximum pleasure. While the missionary position is nice, there is a world of alternative bodily arrangements out there. For some...

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Why it's Natural to Have Taboo Fantasies

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

Tell the truth (or rather, think the truth): have you ever fantasized during sex about someone other than the person you're actually having sex with? Perhaps there's a particular celebrity that turns you on, or a former flame, or even (heaven forbid) a brother or sister-in-law?Do taboo thoughts make their...

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When Couples Swing

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

No, I'm not talking about ballroom dancing. This is a sex column, after all. With buzz-terms like "monogamish" and "negotiated monogamy" making headlines, many couples are discovering that they have a shared appetite for sexual adventure, and that getting it on with another couple may be the golden ticket -...

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Negotiating Monogamy

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

When you take your marriage vows, you're pretty much making the commitment to never have sex with anyone else ever again. Wow - just writing that is scary. As a sex counselor, not a day goes by that I don't see people who are stuck, feeling as if they have...

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Why the Family Dog is Good for Your Love Life

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

After my dog - a curmudgeonly Jack Russell terrier named Houdini - passed away in 2008, I was sure that I wasn't going to get another one anytime soon. Not only had Houdini's death thrown me into an awful state of prolonged grief, but so much had changed since my...

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Blood Pressure Meds and Erectile Disorder

Posted by Madeleine Castellanos, M.D.

Sexual arousal depends on a series of different mechanisms working in conjunction with each other in response to physical and/or psychological stimulation. Successful sexual arousal and performance relies on the participation of your brain, your nerves, your hormones, and your blood vessels. Since medications that are used to control high...

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The Power of Touch

Posted by Madeleine Castellanos, M.D.

When couples have difficulties that lead to an avoidance of sex, there is often also an avoidance of touching each other for fear it might lead to sex. If you don't have a good amount of non-sexual touching with your partner, then every physical contact is expected to be sexual....

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The Window of Female Orgasmic Opportunity

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

Can't last as long as you'd like to during sex? It may not even matter. The truth is you could last longer  than the director's cut of Inception, and it wouldn't make a bit of difference if you weren't giving a woman the right kind of stimulation. Learn a few...

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Are Men Really so Sexually Simple?

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

When comparing male and female sexuality, there's no shortage of adages: "Men are like light switches - just flip them on and they're ready to go. Women are like irons - plug them in and let them warm up." Or, wait: Is it that men are like microwaves - just...

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Your Sex Life Up in Smoke

Posted by Madeleine Castellanos, M.D.

There was a time when nothing went together like sex and a cigarette. But today we know that cigarettes are the nation's largest killer, with more than 400,000 people dying in the U.S. each year due to smoking-related illnesses. But what many people don't realize is that before cigarettes kill...

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Vaginismus

Posted by Madeleine Castellanos, M.D.

The actual definition of vaginismus from the Diagnositc & Statistical Manual IV-TR is "involuntary contraction of the musculature of the outer third of the vagina interfering with intercourse, causing distress and interpersonal difficulty." Because of considerable confusion and criticism, this definition is in the process of being revised. The current...

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Women and Porn

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

Do women like porn as much as men? f you'd asked me this question a couple of years ago, I would have said "no." But the times they are a-changing: just as female infidelity is on the rise, women are catching up to the guys in other ways, too -...

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The Truth about Penis Enlargement

Posted by Madeleine Castellanos, M.D.

Sometimes I feel sorry for guys: They can't open their email inbox or turn on the television without being bombarded with some sexual enhancement product for men. As a psychiatrist and contributor to Good in Bed, I want you to know that while ads for penis enlargement promise the world,...

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How to Talk about Sex

Posted by Kristen Mark, Ph.D.

So much sex advice out there revolves around communicating with your partner. What many people don't realize is that there are different types of communication. There is non-verbal communication, where you can tell what your partner is feeling just by catching a glimpse of her facial expression from across the...

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When Men don't want Sex

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

"Not tonight, honey. I have a headache." How many times has a guy heard that before? Husbands around the world are all too familiar with being sexually rejected. But now, more than ever, those words, (or some variation), are being expressed by men, to their female partners. While the conventional...

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Men and their Prostates

Posted by Madeleine Castellanos, M.D.

Although most men don't experience any difficulties with their prostate until the later decades of life, some younger men can develop acute or chronic prostate difficulties as well.  It is important to recognize the symptoms of prostate difficulties at any age because the sooner that difficulties are addressed, the quicker...

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mismatched libidos

Posted by Madeleine Castellanos, M.D.

The best thing that a couple can do when they find themselves with differences in levels of desire is to agree to talk about it. Too many times couples allow time to go by without actually discussing it, but instead try to initiate with hints, constant accusations, sarcastic jokes, or...

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Is sexting cheating?

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

Is "sexting" really cheating? Well, if, like Congressman Anthony Wiener, you're married and sexting someone other than your spouse (and without your partner's knowledge or approval), of course it is!  With its easy accessibility and novelty, the Internet enables us to easily tune out and turn off to our partners,...

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Getting Wet: Female Lubrication

Posted by Madeleine Castellanos, M.D.

Natural lubrication in women is something that is not well understood by many people, women or men alike.  It is very common for both men and women themselves to judge whether a woman is sexually excited by her level of natural lubrication.  It is almost as if lubrication in women...

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