The Doctor is In!

My dapoxetine experiences

By ron123 on Aug 25, 2010 at 8:16 PM

Hi there, I figure this might be of interest to other men (and perhaps their partners) who experience rapid ejaculation.

I've always been quick in bed. I've done my kegels, practised slow masturbation and all the other techniques suggested with zero effect really.

So out of desperation I procured some dapoxetine and it's been a very interesting experience for me.

I'm the last person who reaches for a pill to solve issues like this, but the fact that I did shows how desperate I was.

The irony here is that my wife doesn't want or need long, penetrative sessions but I was sick of tip-toeing around the issue and not being able to take a more dominant role in bed and just not feeling sexually "powerful". Because of the issue, my sexual experiences my whole life, were all shaped by the need to hold back.

And when I've discussed the issue with my wife, she's always insisted it's not a problem from her perspective. She really likes clitoral stimulation and I recall one occasion many years when for whatever reason, I was able to prolong my orgasm and was able to engage in more vigorous, lengthy penetration, she jumped out of bed mid-thrust, and left me there. She felt that fucking like that was "all about me" and not about her.

The point here is that my PE seemed to suit her sexual -style - fairly low desire, and not into getting "pounded", for want of a better phrase.

Dapoxetine is not a miracle, but for me, to be able to be in positions that normally would be difficult to sustain has been liberating. I've been experimenting with doses between 30mg - 60mg and find the latter more effective. It's a strange drug and for me makes me feel a little "light headed" and dreamy - not unpleasant but there's definitely a drug-like effect. As someone who's experimented with various recreational drugs over the years, it feels a little like you've taken MDMA and it's just about to come on. But nothing more than that.

It works best on an empty stomach - which can present a few issues if one considers that most married couples probably have sex in the evening. So timing one's dosage of dapoxetine in relation to dinner and then aiming for sex within the 1-3 hour window it allows for can be a little tricky.

It took a couple of doses for me to dial in the timing and for me, 60mg taken around 2 hours before sex seems optimal.

I last longer on it without a doubt - note that it does not anaesthetise one's penis or deaden sensation, but it just gives you 'breathing space' - for a life long rapid ejaculator to be able to experience penetration for longer periods without constantly trying to hold back is pretty amazing.

It's also an opportunity to experiment with things like relaxing your PC muscle during penetration, breathing etc. It doesn't mean I subject my wife to long sessions of penetration, more that I can sustain positions such as kneeling between her legs, penetrating her and stimulating her clit at the same time, which seems to be something we both enjoy - I'm more in control than her on top, I get to enjoy penetration and she enjoys the clitoral stimulation and new positions.

However, it's presented me with some issues that I wouldn't have initially considered. Because of the increased control it allows me, it's awakened my sexuality in some potentially difficult ways. After 10 years of marriage, sex, for better or worse, does settle in to a groove. Dapoxetine for me however threatens "the groove". I want sex a lot more often now, even without dapoxetine, and find myself feeling more sexually assertive and "hungrier".

In many ways my wife was OK with sex the way it was so my new found appetite is presenting some issues as I seek to initiate sex more often and she finds it doesn't suit her so much. So I notice this creates some resentment in me and an increased fantasy life in which sex with other women becomes very enticing - this is purely fantasy, I'm not going to cheat, but there are definite tensions in me around expressing my sexuality. And this is at the age of 42 - for the first time in my life I feel sexually powerful and rather frustrated as a result.

And my attempts to assert myself and show up more sexually in my relationship with my wife are potentially having the opposite effect -I'm turning her off as a result, which increases my frustration, around and around in a vicious cycle.

Maybe someone out there is interested in my experience with dapoxetine. I'm certainly not advocating it, but my curiosity got the better of me.

I imagine that this scenario might be common with viagra as well - that it allows a "constrained" male sexual desire to be ignited, with maybe wonderful but also potentially destabilising effects in a relationship as well.

3 replies

Paulina | Aug 25, 2010 at 9:06 PM | Reply | Report

Very interesting dilemma. Thanks for sharing.
Maybe your wife's interest will build and grow in frequency over time given your new powers. For me I know the more sex I have the more I want. And there is always masturbation. For those who want more or those who want to keep wanting more.

Kristen Mark, Ph.D. | Aug 25, 2010 at 9:12 PM | Reply | Report

Thank you for sharing your experiences with the forum...I'm sure this will be useful information for readers! Also, we have an eBook on Premature Ejaculation that may also be of interest to readers over here

Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT | Aug 25, 2010 at 9:45 PM | Reply | Report

Thanks for the comment -- I know that many people are interested in dapoxetine, but I just want to add that it is not currently available in the United States, as it was not approved in its first FDA trial. It has since been re-named Priligy and is currently available in some european countries -- I don't know anything about US plans, nor have I read too much about it success rate in Europe. At this point, I would caution against the "procurement" of dapoxetine, but I would discuss with a doctor the possibility of taking a low dosage of an SSRI such as Paxil. To my knowledge, Dapoxetine did not succeed as an SSRI, but it did retain the side-effect of delaying ejaculation, with the added benefit of being on-demand instead of requiring chronic dosing. But the studies were inconclusive, and I think one of the reasons that it did not make it past the FDA in the first round is because men did not increase latency long enough to justify potential side effects. Thank you for sharing.

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