The Doctor is In!

Husband Not Physically Satified, So I'm Not Sexual

By frusterated on Sep 29, 2010 at 8:22 PM

My husband and i have been married almost two years, since we were married i have gain some weight (20lbs). I am feeling insecure about how i look and my husband has definitely noticed. Without a positive effect on my self esteem from my husband the problem is just getting worse. I find myself wanting to be intimate with him but he always has an excuse. we are down to about twice a month. how do i spark things back up in the bedroom and our relationship while i am trying to size down. I feel like this could be a relationship ending problem for him and i want to recover.

4 replies

Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT | Sep 29, 2010 at 11:03 PM | Reply | Report

You sound very self-aware, and even small changes to one's body can cause damaging blows to self-esteem. Have you shared your feelings with him? What are his excuses? Maybe they're not excuses, and maybe you're sensitive to the weight gain, but it's not the issue, or at least not the whole issue.

Gail Saltz, M.D. | Sep 30, 2010 at 9:20 AM | Reply | Report

I would tell your husband that you are working to lose some weight, for both of you, and would like his support and encouragement. This will help if the weight is the issue, but it may also allow him to talk about any other issue that could be at the root.

James Woods | Oct 4, 2010 at 2:26 AM | Reply | Report

Yes Really, I'm agree with Gail statement.... I think her husband having some another problem like Erectile Dysfunction..... Thanks!

Anna Potter | Oct 6, 2010 at 11:14 AM | Reply | Report

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