The Doctor is In!

I Need More Sex Than My Husband!

By Fortyplus on Oct 20, 2010 at 3:10 PM

I am a normal 41 yr old female but I have a stronger sex drive than my husband. I often initiate first, or hint or outright ask without the necessary success. I do not have a great body image as I am carrying extra weight. Any advice on my 2 x a month sex life?

4 replies

Ed Ratush | Oct 20, 2010 at 7:10 PM | Reply | Report

I hear that you ask for it more but how would you describe the work responsibilities during sex? Who does more in bed? how much more?

What does he think of your body image? How does he see you? Have you discussed attraction? Do you masturbate? Does he? Do you engage in sexual play that does not lead to intercourse?

Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT | Oct 20, 2010 at 8:13 PM | Reply | Report

Also, please read this article from another of our experts, Dr. Gail Saltz, on the subject of low-desire men:

Belisa Vranich | Oct 21, 2010 at 12:23 PM | Reply | Report

Is the 2x a month how it has always been, or has this changed recently and you are feeling confused about it? Your weight gain may not be as much of an issue to him than it is to you really, his lower desire might be his baseline or an age related lowering of testosterone since he is probably a similar age. Get a vibrator, have a truthful conversation with him and you can start figuring things out.

Anna Potter | Oct 28, 2010 at 4:33 PM | Reply | Report

Have you talked to your husband about how you would like to have sex more often? What is holding you two back from having sex more often?

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