The Doctor is In!

Stress and Orgasms

By BK on Oct 13, 2010 at 2:09 AM

My girlfriend and I are both in college and we both have heavy course loads. We have been together for over two years and the majority of that time my girlfriend could reach orgasm from intercourse. The past few months I can almost gauge how much stress she is under by whether or not she reaches climax. Now it seems the only times she orgasms is shortly after a big test, or after some stressful situation passes. The greatest part of sex for me is giving her an orgasm. Do you have any tips on what I can do to take her mind off of the stresses of school and back on enjoying sex even during stressful times?

3 replies

Anna Potter | Oct 13, 2010 at 11:49 AM | Reply | Report

There are a couple of issues here. I think it'll be important for you to continue to be a support person for your girlfriend while she's stressed out and under pressure. The good thing is that her being in school is finite, which means that that stress is finite. It also will be very important for the two of you--or, maybe just you--to redefine what makes sex great. I definitely understand the feeling of satisfaction and pleasure that we can get when another person has an orgasm when we're having sex with them, BUT remember that sex is fun with or without an orgasm. Enjoy the process, the time you spend making love with her, and being with her.

In terms of what you can do to take her mind off of the stress, ask her how you can support her--that you see that she's stressed out and you want to help her feel as peaceful as possible.

You sound like a very loving and caring boyfriend. Lucky gal!

BK | Oct 14, 2010 at 5:57 PM | Reply | Report

Thank you very much for the reply! I will put your advice to work. I am grateful for this resource.

Anna Potter | Nov 2, 2010 at 4:18 PM | Reply | Report

There's also something that K-Y makes that might help--it's called Intense and it is supposed to improve climax. K-Y even went so far as to have studies done using the gel--75% of women reported higher arousal, sensitivity, and pleasure, and 90% of those women said using it improved their overall experience. Good luck!

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