The Doctor is In!

Fantasy Turning Into Reality

By DirtyHubby on Nov 24, 2010 at 1:33 AM

My wife and I have a very adventurous sex life both physically and mentally, and are never afraid to share turn ons with each other or try something new and indulge each other. But recently we have been having frequent talks during sex and whilst I have been out of the house about her with other men. One involves her fucking another man in front of me as he makes her tell me how pathetic I am and how much she is enjoying it. another is her being used and degraded and rented out for very little money whilst dogging or to strangers in clubs. When fantasy's have become this persistent in the past we have indulged them and made them reality to see how we both feel if we have enjoyed them then they have become a permanent fixture in our physical lives (like me cross dressing and her with a strap on) but we have been dancing around making these ones reality as they are involving other people ( the most we have done with others is share pics on the net) we would like other opinions.

13 replies

Joe Kort, Ph.D, MSW | Nov 24, 2010 at 10:19 PM | Reply | Report

Are you asking if you should make this fantasy a reality? There fantasy where another man is involved pleasing your wife while you are humiliated is a very common fantasy among men and it is called, "Cuckolding". I know many who enjoy doing it in reality.

Why not consider doing it on cam and internet sites first and see how that goes? That way you have not involved another live person. You could have your wife engage in cyber sex with another man while you watch and have her call you names. You could also post something on a sex site and meet others and talk to them about it. A popular site involving these types of fantasies and meeting others is

NYGiant | Jan 4, 2011 at 9:53 AM | Reply | Report

Wife & I talked @ this during sex but were VERY hesitant @ it. I didnt know how I'd feel later. As I posted under a diffrt topic, we did it once while her female cousin watched us-turned out to be exciting (for all 3). Eventually, she wanted to watch me get a BJ. She picked an older sgl woman ("Jane") on our block who was not threatening to my wife sexually or emotionally and not that phys attractive 2 me. Jane agreed (pretty quickly.) We did it in the dark, low music playing, nothing skanky. Wife watched from chair in corner of room, not on bed so as not to make it a 3-way. Lasted 20 min. Jane did good job-wife took note of techniques. Jane was topless, used hand on my sack, slow strokes, stayed quiet, fingered my anus, let me cum part in her mouth, part on breasts. I did not touch her. She left right after. Wife got very turned on, wanted sex right away with me. C next post though @ other way around.

NYGiant | Jan 4, 2011 at 12:32 PM | Reply | Report

However, it was tough for me to do the same thing for her-I worried @ STD if she had sex with stranger, accidentl preg, etc. Dr. C is right--how would we find this person? And how far would it go? How often? Wife also concerned @ this. 2 mo later wife got co-worker's younger friend to visit our apt, did not meet me or know I was in room (closet). He was told wife just wanted some additional action on side. He was avg. build, looks, height, etc., not phys threat to me. I let wife do whatever she wanted. Hard 4 me to let go like that. She did not kiss or do oral or talk much. Both immed got naked on bed. She put rubber on him, lubed herself front & back, let him have her both ways from rear. We never do anal-she did it to excite me (it did!) She got sore bottom soon, so she gave him hand job to cum, but did not cum herself. He left right away. We had sex immed., & since both were very turned on we both came quick. Never thought I'd enjoy but I did-esp since I did not meet the guy.

Deirdre | Jan 4, 2011 at 4:21 PM | Reply | Report

I had similar experience but regretted it. About 3 mo before I married my husband, my single room mate (over a few bottles of wine we split) said she was horny, had not had sex in a year, and wanted a little bit from my then fiance. We giggled @ it, but then the more we talked the more I figured out she was serious. Next day, I said OK, what was the harm. We talked for weeks @ it just to make sure we were both OK with it. I did not realize that it would make me feel awkward, and our friendship cooled a lot. The 2 of them did it in our apt while I was at work. I asked both @ it seperately to compare stories, and pieced together that the sex wasn't steamy, it was "by the numbers," and that they both climaxed pretty soon after starting. My now husband is sorry he agreed to it, we don;t talk about it now.

Madeleine Castellanos, M.D. | Nov 24, 2010 at 10:41 PM | Reply | Report

It would be important for both of you to sit down together and have a discussion about the pros and cons of putting these fantasies into practice. You are correct in stating that there are ramifications to bringing in others into your private sex life. But only both of you can answer how you think it would affect you and whether the benefits are worth it. How would you find this person? What information would they know about you? Would they use any of this information in a negative way? All of these are important things to consider. Definitely talk about this at times when you are not being sexual so that you can really examine it as objectively as possible.

DirtyHubby | Nov 28, 2010 at 4:07 PM | Reply | Report

We have discussed it outside of sex and both get the same excitement out of it and fear of where it could lead. We now of a few men who would be interested and have also considered using strangers.

We have tried the cyber sex thing and do not get anything out of it even when we do it together from separate locations.

NYGiant | Jan 7, 2011 at 12:49 PM | Reply | Report

How does the cyber sex thing work?

Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT | Nov 29, 2010 at 12:58 PM | Reply | Report

It sounds like you're both thrill-seekers and that you have experience turning fantasy into reality? How have past experiences fared? Do you both get the same level of enjoyment out of these experiences? Do you find that it ultimately increases the intimacy between you?

DirtyHubby | Nov 30, 2010 at 1:22 AM | Reply | Report

When we have made things reality it has made things even hotter in an already fiery sex life, and connected us on a higher level. When I first submited to her( as we take it in turns to submit to each other) and cross dressed and let her drive a very large strap on into me without any compassion it drove both of us wild, and after she had satisfied her needs of hearing me moan scream and cry for her to stop, we had sex normally and the level of intimacy was something neither of us had felt before.

We went dogging a few nights ago and both enjoyed being watched and her stroking two other mens cocks.

toddjohn | Dec 2, 2010 at 8:27 PM | Reply | Report

Hello DirtyHubby,

My wife have turned our fantasies into reality. Our fantasy focused entirely of her having sex with other men. Our fantasies were inspired reading stories in an infamous magazine, Penth* Letters. We both enjoyed the wife having affairs. It took many months of conversation before taking the reality dive. My wife preferred to "know" the men, thus we both fantasized about sex with strangers, it was something we both thought was exciting, but somewhat dangerous. Initially, my wife would share each of her sexual rendezvous. It was tremendously exiting for both of us.

About two years ago, we had one unpleasant experience; my wife fell in love with her lover. The unpleasant experience was that my wife felt guilty of falling in love. We both accepted that polyamory is OK and acceptable, and expected. My wife and I are both happy with our sexual desires and lives.

DirtyHubby | Dec 19, 2010 at 6:45 PM | Reply | Report

Well we have past the fantasy stage we went out dogging three weeks ago, due to the bad weather conditions there were very few people there but not to let it spoil our fun we started to play after about five minutes a bright light shone through the passenger window we looked up as someone knocked on the window to see two policemen standing by the car. They informed us that they were going to arrest us under the intent to cause distress by exposure, unless my wife fucked them not wanting to attend the police station she agreed and I watched as they took their cocks out and she began workign on them in turn with her hands and mouth before the pulled her out of the car and placed her on her hands and knees in the back of their police car a taking it in turns to fill her pussy each once and one of them in her ass she sucked them clean and they sent us on our way her sticky and dripping from her holes her stockings stained and myself very horny.

DirtyHubby | Dec 23, 2010 at 7:26 PM | Reply | Report

I thought that maybe I should add that my wife is 6 months pregnant

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