The Doctor is In!

Female Orgasms and The Like

By Michelle on Nov 20, 2010 at 11:19 AM

Okay, I have never had sex, but I have had manual stimulation and oral sex. And of course typical "grinding" during make-out sessions. I do not think I have experienced an orgasm, but in just make-out sessions with a little grinding I feel like a pressure building up and after awhile a little release of that pressure. I feel calmer after that release, but I could keep going. Exactly what is that? I don't want to say orgasm, because sometimes it can happen so quickly...but, please tell me exactly what to call it or what it is! Thank you.

6 replies

Madeleine Castellanos, M.D. | Nov 20, 2010 at 1:43 PM | Reply | Report

Orgasms come in all shapes and sizes - sometimes being very simply a feeling of build up and release, and other times very powerful. Usually there are muscle contractions of the PC muscles which make up the bottom of the pelvis and surround the opening of the vagina, as well as some contraction of abdominal muscles. It is difficult to give you a definitive answer, but you may very well be having small orgasms from this stimulation. The description of feeling very calm after the release of this build-up is a very common feeling after orgasm.

Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT | Nov 21, 2010 at 8:45 PM | Reply | Report

Yes, Madeleine is right. In general orgasm is the build-up and release of tension, so it sounds like you're having an orgasm. Many women remain in a semi-aroused after orgasm, unlike men who generally return to a pre-aroused state and experience a refractory period. At any rate, have you experienced an orgasm via masturbation? If not, give it a try and compare experiences. Sounds like you're in the process of getting in touch with your unique process of arousal -- enjoy!

NYGiant | Jan 19, 2011 at 8:52 PM | Reply | Report

Michelle-you may have a more powerful orgasm when penetrated. You say you are a virgin, so that could be why yours to date are less intense. If they are happening quickly, it may be due to your inexperience or having too few of them. My senior yr in h.s. I dated a girl who was able to have an orgasm by me rubbing her clitoris outside her panties, and it only took 2-3 muniutes sometimes. She was a virgin at the time and did not masturbate with penetration, so this level of stimulation was the most she had experienced. To her it was great, because she could cum just about anywhere discreetly.

Deirdre | Jan 21, 2011 at 10:12 AM | Reply | Report

Michelle-if you have had oral sex, you have had sex. You mean you are a virgin and have never had intercourse. That doesn't mean you can't cum, as I think you have now found out! When I was a virgin I could have mild orgasms if I was relaxed enough to do so, and if the guy rubbed my clit or fingered my p*ssy. Once I had intercourse, the orgasms were easier and much "bigger." Also the fact that it happens so quickly does not mean it is NOT an orgasm! If I try I can cum in about 3-4 minutes....

OhioGirl | Jan 21, 2011 at 10:39 AM | Reply | Report

I think you are def. having small, low intensity orgasms. Can you cum if your partner goes down on you? For a lot of women, incl. me, that is the most intense orgasm, since a guy who knows what he is doing can do much more for your p*ssy with his mouth than he can with his penis.

Deirdre | Jan 21, 2011 at 11:41 AM | Reply | Report

Well stated! I hope Michelle writes again to let us know if this is helpful. I would think the grinding she is doing could make her cum, and it may be low intensity when done with clothes on. Michelle--are your panties very wet after you experience the pressure release?

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