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How to refresh faster after one round of sex

By femi on Feb 2, 2011 at 2:17 PM

i always find it difficult to attain erection after a round of sex. what can I do to correct this anomaly because it is affecting my relationship with my wife.

4 replies

Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT | Feb 2, 2011 at 9:50 PM | Reply | Report

All men experience a refractory period, the recovery phase following ejaculation. As men age, the refractory period tends to increase, although it's also subject to many other factors such as weight, lifestyle, medical issues, etc. But it's completely normal. So don't think of it as an anomaly, but rather a sexual norm.

Madeleine Castellanos, M.D. | Feb 2, 2011 at 10:02 PM | Reply | Report

Actually, this is not an anomaly, it is called the refractory period. Men's ability to become aroused again soon after orgasm are inhibited by the release of certain hormones during orgasm. Many men have short refractory periods as teenagers, but this time period during which a man cannot get an erection after orgasm/ejaculation increases as he ages. You do have a couple of choices. First, you can prolong all of your sexual activity with wife before you reach an orgasm - such as petting, oral sex, lots of full body contact, etc - and find satisfaction with your sexual activity in that way. You could also continue with other sexual activity after you ejaculate until you get another erection, which could be twenty minutes in your 20's to hours later by your 40's or 50's.

This is the normal sexual functioning to be expected in any man. The question is how is it affecting your relationship with your wife? What are both of your expectations about what sex should be like?

Cajun | Feb 2, 2011 at 10:36 PM | Reply | Report

I am almost forty and I am able to recover 2 or 3 times in a two hour window. I hope that last past my fortys or my wife will be very disappointed!

DAVE632 | Feb 3, 2011 at 1:29 AM | Reply | Report

How is it affecting your relationship with your wife? If she wants to keep going then you'll have to do something else she likes until your refractory period ends and your brain can stimulate the production of nitric oxide which is needed for an erection. Are you orgasming too quickly and she isn't halfway there yet or is she expecting you to maintain an erection like perhaps she remembers boyfriends doing when she was 18?
Try this technique:
If it works like is has for many she won't miss you not having an erection.

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