The Doctor is In!

Help - My Wife Wont Have Sex With Me Anymore

By Man alive on May 6, 2011 at 9:06 PM

Growing I never had a lot of girlfriends so my sexual experience is very limited, when my wife meet me, she was my only real full time sex partner. Every time we had sex I only had one style. I would eat her out for 4 to 6 minutes then have sex for 5 to 8 minutes then I would come.

Most of my sexual education came from porn movies I tired to treat my wife the same way. she really hated me for doing that. but now I understand this was not how women really act in bed.

Our sex started to dry up because she was tired of me getting what I wanted and she was left unhappy. Because she withheld the sex from me I started to demand sex from her and she felt forced.

She wont suck me or try different sexual positions even dirty talk.

We have had a few fights over this. I stated to watch porn again she told me how disgusted she was by me.

she wont let me eat her out any more. She says it's because she never liked it all her life but I know it's because I not good in this deportment.

4 replies

Jackie_Daniels | May 8, 2011 at 6:58 PM | Reply | Report

There may be some underlying issues here from what I read. Have you both had a sit down and actually talked about what you both like in bed or what you both would like to experience in the bedroom? There is so much more to lovemaking and sex than just the obvious and you are 100% correct there are only about 1% of women in all the world who are like what you see in videos that arent getting paid. Ask the question why she doesnt care for oral sex, dont assume it is you because you haven't had many partners. Why is she disgusted by porn? Does she have issues of her own maybe with her past or with body issues? There are so many questions..I think once you get to the root of the situation you can open a whole new way of thinking and being together or worst case scenario find that you cant and wont come to agreement about it and need to figure out where to go from here.. Open communication and honesty might be the key. Stay open minded and see where it goes. Best of luck to you.

jan | May 9, 2011 at 1:04 PM | Reply | Report

Ask her what it is about oral sex that she does not enjoy. Her orgasm is her responsibility so she needs to explain in detail what she does or does not enjoy. Complaining about your technique or saying "I don't like that" without instructing you what she does like or how she wants you to perform an act is unfair to you. It takes two well informed adults to have a satisfying sex life. There are Kama Sutra videos available that are sensual and educational not vulgar like the usual pornographic material available. They would be good for you to watch together or alone. Here is one website
Good luck

Man alive | May 10, 2011 at 7:02 PM | Reply | Report

Thanks all your advice. I sit down and I asked her why doesn't like oral sex.

She saids it's because of me and she will never do it again.

I told her she has no right to say that but she didn't care saying she may need to find another person for bedroom.

The only sexual style she will let me do is get on top and hump away.

I will try to learn tantric massage to give her a orgasm, from there I can open her mind again to oral sex.

I will keep you all posted.

WD | May 12, 2011 at 9:42 PM | Reply | Report

MA, I disagree with your telling your wife that "she has no right to say that...". She has every right to say what sexual practices she allows and disallows. You two could, in my somewhat educated opinion, benefit greatly from some sex therapy or regular couples therapy. I am proud of you for sitting her down and discoursing about this, but a lot of "do it yourself" therapy can backfire. A neutral third party can help you both sort our what is underneath her discomfort and why you feel so entitled. And assign exercises for the two of you to try to bring you back together. Google ASSECT for a referral to a professional sex therapist near you. And if you haven't gotten her buy-in for Tantra in advance, good luck with that. Your COMMUNICATION needs work,mostly. Lastly, have you downloaded Ian Kerner's $5 guide to given a woman oral sex? Perhaps your oral technique is what's not finding favor with your wife. Hey, every guy needs instruction, not just you. But don't employ the methods, yet.

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