The Doctor is In!

Sex Everyday?

By Dagiit on Mar 1, 2013 at 3:53 PM

My fiancee and I are very active sexually with one another and we do very well together. We are an older couple, both healthy, and together now for 3 years (both over 50).

We are exploring now the joy of having a little intercourse most every day with one another when we both get up. The focus is never orgasm, but to connect with one another. It's our most fun thing to do and our sessions usually last from 15 to 30 minutes. We feel it gives us a nice jump start for the day and makes us feel closer to one another.

When I talk with many couples, their frequency of intercourse is maybe once a week or once every two weeks. If sex is so much fun, I wonder why others don't enjoy this more often?

I was curious if other couples have had success with the approach of more sex without the pressure of reaching orgasm?

4 replies

crazyd | Mar 2, 2013 at 6:34 AM | Reply | Report

You did say fiance' right? So your not married yet ? Well.....wait for it...there are many studies that show sex in marriage and long term relationships declines notably. Too many reasons for this. Once a week is the norm, twice a week would be considered good for a long term marriage.

Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT | Mar 3, 2013 at 11:33 AM | Reply | Report

Try looking up the term "karezza" which is the practice you're discussing and has been making headlines lately -- you're definitely not alone in enjoying sex without orgasm/

Dagiit | Mar 6, 2013 at 11:39 AM | Reply | Report

LOL. This confirms what I believe to be true. We are just visiting the planet and don't ever discover anything new... it's all be here all along. We just discover things new for ourselves. I never knew about this word so I looked it up... wow... it's exactly what I've been wanting to create with my fiancée. I first read a book 30 years ago called the Tao of Love and Sex. It was the first thing I ever read that spoke about a man's role in the bedroom. The book focuses on men holding their sperm and to refrain from ejaculation.

After exploring tantra beyond my first failed marriage, I knew that a real bonding relationship should never be focused around the orgasm. Great stuff... thanks for leading me on my way to where I want to go.

Now I feel more confident exploring my own form of "karezza". I believe this is a great idea that most of us who want a deep connecting relationship give a try.

Madeleine Castellanos, M.D. | Mar 9, 2013 at 1:24 PM | Reply | Report

Good for you Dagiit! Pleasure without the pressure of orgasm is a wonderful experience that you can practice everyday if you wish. I'm sure that it will be a long-time practice for you.

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