The Doctor is In!

Am I physically felling pleasure and it is just not registering?

By Slightly-frustrated-and-aroused on Apr 13, 2017 at 12:39 PM

I'm 22 years old and have been sexually active for 5 years. So I have become incredibly frustrated with the fact that I can't climax, I have never been able too. I have never orgasmed from sex, getting eaten out, and definitely not from clitoral stimulation done by me or My BF. I can't even bring myself to a climax but it's so much more than just that. I have no problem getting aroused or lubricated. my boyfriend could just walk behind me and brush his hand over my butt and kiss my neck, Im turned on and ready to go, I can picture things that get me excited. But when it comes to what I pictured in my head and it actually happening to me, I'm emotionally aroused by it but physically i can't feel anything past a good neutral but not being pleasurable. Physical signs are all there: wet, excited, my nips get hard. Despite not feeling pleasure I still want sex, I'm attracted to my boyfriend and all that stuff. Also I feel no pain during sex, So what is the problem that I'm experiencing?

2 replies

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Kate McCombs, MPH | Apr 14, 2017 at 9:07 AM | Reply | Report

I can see why this is frustrating for you. It's a bit unusual, but certainly not unheard of.

Here's a few resources for you.

There'a book called "The Elusive Orgasm" that may be of help. "Come As You Are" by Emily Nagoski may also be helpful.

You may also want to speak with a sex therapist or a pelvic floor physical therapist. It's possible that the barrier may be psychological, physical, or some combination of the two. It might involve a bit of investigation.

You can find a sex therapist here: https://www.aasect.org/referral-directory

CE | Apr 14, 2017 at 1:22 PM | Reply | Report

I didn't have my first orgasm until I was 44. I think my biggest problem over the years was expecting it to happen and trying to force it. My advice is to practice without any expectations. It could be that you just haven't found the right spot, rhythm, or you're not using the pressure you need. Also, try a vibrator. You'd be surprised what it can do.

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