The Doctor is In!

I don't want to degrade myself anymore

By Help needed on Apr 16, 2017 at 12:23 AM

The worst mistake of my life is watching porn, I started watching it since I was in 7th grade, I used to get off on nice sexy female friendly porn, but soon I started looking for more degrading and hurtful porn to get off on. Now I feel like only these kind of porn get me off, even with I'm with my SO, I find it hard to be emotionally present and cum. When I mastrubate now, I think of degrading, humiliating scenarios where one is passed around, used and spit on or treated badly. I don't really want to do that to myself, I don't like pain, i don't even like these concepts in real life and I don't want this to hurt my relationship because I really love my SO, and am physically attracted to them. I hate this, and I hate myself for liking this, please help me get out of it and tell me what's wrong. I want to stop watching such porn and most importantly stop thinking about such things and treating myself so badly. Please help me. It's mentally affecting me.

Thank you.

2 replies

Kate McCombs, MPH | Apr 17, 2017 at 2:49 PM | Reply | Report

It's quite common for people to find things a turn on that they don't want to do in real life, but it sounds like you're particularly distressed by these fantasies. It sounds like you're wanting more control and choice about what things turn you on.

This may be the sort of thing you may want to unpack with a sex therapist. They can help you explore what sexual fantasy issues as well as the distressing feelings around it. If that sounds like it would be helpful to you, you can find one near you here:

Help needed | May 9, 2017 at 1:49 PM | Reply | Report

Thank you for your suggestion, but I would also like to know , Is there some method or technique that I can use to get back to the old self, where these things don't affect me? Is there some way to wean off this sort of addiction where I can focus on myself and my partner and enjoy the moment ? I really want to change.
Is there some way that these things don't pop up in my head anymore ?

Thank you for listening and helping me.

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