The Doctor is In!

I Need Help With My Performance... What Should I Do Differently?

By LiamKing on Apr 12, 2017 at 11:43 AM

I recently ended a 9-year relationship and I've had a string of casual hookups on Tinder for the last 2 months. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I have a large penis and I've always known this. However, I was with my ex for 9 years and she was my only sexual partner for those 9 years, so she got used to my size and never complained.

While the women I've been with post-breakup have been great, they all seem to complain in one way or another that I am too rough and need to be more gentle. I've tried slowing my pace and use lube but at times the look of discomfort on their face can be a turn-off.

What I'd like to know is what should I do differently to make sex more enjoyable for them?

2 replies

Kate McCombs, MPH | Apr 14, 2017 at 8:58 AM | Reply | Report

The main thing to do would be to spend far more time on foreplay. The vagina needs time to "tent" - the physiological process of expanding that happens during arousal. Vaginas need time to expand in order to accommodate a larger penis. Spend more time playing with your partners' clits, labia, vulvas, and G-spots with your hands and mouth before you put your penis inside them. At least 15-20 minutes of this. Some women will need longer.

You can also get a penis limiter or "donut" to limit the amount of your penis that enters your partners.

CE | Apr 14, 2017 at 1:39 PM | Reply | Report

Sex isn't a marathon and shouldn't always be fast and hard. It shouldn't always be constant thrusting either. If you're just thrusting away that may be why your partners think you're too rough. While a whole penis is very fulfilling, only half or a quarter of it is, too, at different times. Vary how much of it you insert. Slow down and enjoy the journey.

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