This is going to seem extremely petty. I've been with my wife 17 years. I give her oral sex enthusiastically very nearly every time we have sex. Over the years I hoped my love of giving would inspire her to try giving me oral sex, but it hasn't. A few years ago I asked directly. She didn't refuse, but she also never made an attempt. I let another year go by and then asked if it was something she never intended to do. She got very defensive, so I haven't brought it up again. I know it shouldn't be a deal breaker, but I've wanted to experience it for so long that I think it's grown into some kind of deep sexual desire for me. I really want to know what it's like to feel desired that way. It makes me feel unappealing to know my wife won't give me oral sex. I've supplemented my sexual curiosity by discovering new ways to please my wife, adding toys, creating fantasies, etc., but I still can't stop thinking about getting a blowjob. What can I do?