The Doctor is In!

Frustrated in bed

By Confused guy on May 2, 2017 at 7:38 AM

I'm a man in his upper 30's. I started dating a woman around my age who I really like, a few weeks ago. She had me over for dinner last Friday then again on Monday. Both times the chemistry has been great and we ended up in her bedroom. Long story short, once in the bedroom I can't seem to keep a bonér. I'm pretty sure she can tell I'm hard during foreplay.

I've decided I'm going to change my diet and lose some weight.I also am going to be getting a Physical to rule out illness, etc. I'm not opposed to pharmaceutical help, but would like to hold off.

I guess my question is- Should I be straight forward with her? I'm afraid I'll scare her off.

2 replies

Kate McCombs, MPH | May 2, 2017 at 5:16 PM | Reply | Report

Yes, I'd recommend being straightforward with her and reassuring that your challenges with your erection aren't about your desire for her. Fortunately, there are heaps of things you can do with her sexually that don't require your erection (fingering, oral sex, toys, dirty talk, etc.). If she's in her late 30s, I wouldn't be surprised if she's encountered this before. It's common to have some boner difficulties as you reach this age. Hopefully, she'll handle it with maturity and kindness.

You're right to go to the doctor to rule out other issues, but it's likely just a thing you'll learn to manage.

CE | May 2, 2017 at 5:40 PM | Reply | Report

Yes, you should tell her. You don't want her to think it's something she did, or that she doesn't turn you on.

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