The Doctor is In!

He is too unfit for sex...

By MamaMe on May 1, 2017 at 2:36 PM

I need help. I really like someone but they are overweight.
I stayed at his and we had sex for the first time...but I felt used and it was horrible. He wasn't interested on anything other than lying there and letting me do the work.
He made an excuse of being too tired...then another excuse that he was with other girls who were dominant in the bedroom and that's what they wanted.I told him I'm not like that and sex if 50/50.
Next time we had sex he tried going on top and to be fair he did ok but I stayed the weekend...and that was it. He was so physically exhausted from going on top once he couldn't for the next 2 days and again I had to do all the work. He tried going down on me once because of what I had said about feeling he was uninterested but even with that he only did it once. It was like to prove a point rather than to please me.
I just don't know what to do, I've never met or been with anyone who has been too unfit to have sex. I feel used in bed but I like this person too...

2 replies

Kate McCombs, MPH | May 2, 2017 at 4:47 PM | Reply | Report

I get that he has some fitness issues that affect some aspects of his performance, but what sounds like a much bigger deal breaker is his lack of willingness to pleasure you. Going down on you doesn't require aerobic fitness - it requires enthusiasm and care for your experience.

If you're leaving the interactions with him feeling used and horrible, that's a good sign that this isn't a healthy relationship for you. Listen to your feelings here. That's not about him being overweight - there are many overweight people who are energetic and enthusiastic lovers.

CE | May 2, 2017 at 5:41 PM | Reply | Report

He sounds selfish. You deserve a lover that wants to please you, too.

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