The Doctor is In!

Should I stay?

By purpleflower on May 2, 2017 at 1:58 AM

My bf & I have been together for almost 4 years and living together for 3 Everything is perfect, except for the sex. Which is a huge problem (I know) and it could ultimately be a deal-breaker for me. We aren't having enough sex in frequency and also in variation (types of sex) and more importantly we are even having a hard time GETTING to sex... we will start to initiate sex and then the foreplay he does is not something I enjoy so I end up getting turned off and then we just don't end up having sex. it's turned into this vicious cycle. We have sex once a week, But it's become extremely stressful and a sore spot for me. There's all this tension built up around the subject, making it even difficult. I feel like I'm not a woman, not myself, and I just want to be pleased sexually and enjoy myself and my sex life.
Is this something we can work out or is it totally hopeless and not worth wasting my time.
Any advice ?

1 reply

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Kate McCombs, MPH | May 2, 2017 at 4:54 PM | Reply | Report

It sounds like it's possible to work out, but likely something that will only get better with a mutual commitment from both of you to proactively work on it. Sex therapy may be something to consider. If that interests you, you can find a sex therapist near you here: https://www.aasect.org/referral-directory

I don't think it's hopeless, but I do think it will require a lot of learning and emotional unpacking to fix. If that's something you're BOTH prepared for, sex therapy would be a good first step.

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