MDS

  • Commented on Straight/gay cybersex
    Ian. Thanks for your response. Yes, he is decidedly gay. No, I don't expect a healthy sexual relationship to come from this, but as I have never had one, I don't know what I'm missing anyway. He is a continent...
  • Posted Straight/gay cybersex to The Good in Bed Forums
    I have a friend I met in a round about way through a rape survivors website. He is also a survivor of rape and domestic violence. As I have difficulty even hugging someone, he and I began working on my...
  • Commented on Making wife feel guilty?
    I'm going to go from this from a totally different angle, one that occurs to me because of MY past. One in four women are raped before the age of 18. Many of us suppress memories because of the pain...
  • Commented on Have you stripped or performed for your partner, and how did it go?
    More than 35 years married and I began stripping, for health and for improved body image. I was doing it totally for me. The way it felt. The improved muscle tone (and yes, it is a fabulous workout). We were...
  • Commented on Thoughts on women feeling shy while naked
    I have huge body-image issues partially because I hated the body that caused me to be raped. Okay, I get it, finally, it wasn't my fault that I was raped, but I had been told enough times that it was...
  • Commented on crossdressing
    My dad wore mom's panties after she died. He had been told that it would help with grief. He liked them so well, he wore them from then on. I think the reason that men are looked at strangely if...
  • Commented on What do I do while I'm on top?
    Honey, that's where the do you like this or this better comes in. You can do both, either, circle your hips, whatever strikes your fancy at the time. You figure out the way you like it best. You ask him...
  • Commented on How do I relax her?
    I can't answer for you gf, but I can tell you what would work for me. You can ask her if any of it would work for her. 1. Run me a warm bath to soak in. Give me time...
  • Commented on What do I do while I'm on top?
    You do what feels good to you. You do what feels good to him. If you want to know how he likes it, ask. "Do you like this better?", "or, is this better?". What is "right" for one person is...
  • Commented on Sex
    The key to this issue is communication. At a time when you are both calm and relaxed and NOT right after sex, when you are pissed cause he is done and you aren't, sit down with him and tell him...
  • Commented on Crazy bad pain taking Cialis
    Alpha blocker my soon to be ex was using for PTSD and blood pressure that also helped like Cialis is called Cardura. He has had no bad effects from it. Just doesn't have anyplace to use the "Cialis effect"....
  • Commented on letting go
    Rps. No. He isn't to blame for his wife's affair. I didn't mean to imply that he was. I am a three time rape survivor. I wasn't to blame for the rapes either. But in order to get any closure...
  • Commented on No Sexual Desire/Drive
    Testosterone is the hormone that leads to desire. Women don't make as much of it as men do (thank goodness) and it seems to drop off in us with or soon after our female hormones. Hormone therapy can be a...
  • Commented on Bad at Sex-Male
    Explore her body. Not just the "vital" spots. Not just jump on and do the dirty. Be interested in touching her and finding the spots that turn her on. They are in some really interesting spots. Ears. Fingers. Toes. Backs...
  • Commented on letting go
    I don't think you do get over it. I think that you accept that it happened. It is part of the history of the relationship. You forgive you wife for the affairs and you forgive yourself for allowing the communication...
  • Commented on Lack of Desire?
    You have listed two definite possibilities for a lower desire on the part of your wife. Some people simply cannot get a proper rest when doing shift work. Not getting quality rest has a decided effect on sexual interest. Hormones...
  • Commented on Crazy bad pain taking Cialis
    Blood pressure meds, which was the original purpose of ED meds, can all cause some crazy side effects. Out of 15 BP meds I tried, 14 caused migraine (which is strange because Beta blockers are given FOR migraine). One of...
  • Commented on Spooning
    I tried answering this yesterday and at some point my internet connection died. If it comes in twice, I apologize. Mr. A. If your wife is in a position where her hips are backed up against you, and she is...
  • Commented on No idea...
    RA. I can't pretend to know what is going on with your wife, but that sounds like me for a lot of years. For me self-esteem wasn't as much of an issue as guilt as I had been blamed for...
  • Commented on Mismatched sex drive -- how to handle?
    Some guys may know. Mine never did. And when he found out that I had been, he asked me to "fake it" because he was having trouble and sure enough, that did the trick. Pissed him off that even when...
  • Commented on Disappointed in sex life - what to do
    WD. If I had replied sooner with my thanks, R. might not have taken offense. I have very good memories of my marriage and four wonderful children with the man. My developing PTSD and trying to recover from it was...
  • Commented on Is it ever OK to have an affair?
    Please, please, please, make sure it is okay with your husband. Uncomfortable jokes make it sound like he isn't prepared for that. You really don't want to hurt him with all that he is going thru. I told my husband...
  • Commented on Sex and aging
    Manopause is an emotional change more than a physical one. You tend to look at where you are in life; job, family, hobbies, dreams. Women go through it too, although we also have the drastic hormonal changes that can come...
  • Commented on Porn trouble
    If you need help finding someone that you can talk to, first make a list of everyone you can think of. List why they would or would not be a safe person to talk with. Those that you feel would...
  • Commented on Porn trouble
    I'm with Dr. Castellanos. Do something active to help you stop with the porn. Physical activity is great for physical health, mental health, better sleep, weight loss or maintenance, etc. Running and swimming for distance are also quite time consuming...
  • Commented on Disappointed in sex life - what to do
    A friend told me once that a request that only has one possible answer isn't a request. It's a demand. That's what your first post sounded like. If I misread you, I apologize. It is hard to get what you...
  • Commented on Disappointed in sex life - what to do
    Thanks WD. I was beginning to think that I had been a bit harsh. It has been a hard week for me and I am going through a divorce I never wanted even though I was the one who filed....
  • Commented on Cold Wife in Sex
    How can your wife get you to beg to go shopping? Or for her to let you clean the toilet? People have different sex drives. She may or may not ever feel the need to have sex enough to beg...
  • Commented on Moving On UP.....
    Try doing the artsy stuff just for the fun of it. . . not looking to hook up with someone. The harder you look, the more anxious you are, the less likely you are to find someone. It doesn't matter...
  • Commented on You Think I Still Have Orgasm Hope?
    Quit trying to orgasm. Sometimes we try so hard that we do hit a plateau. This leads to nothing but frustration. For a while, just enjoy the physical sensations that have nothing to do with orgasm. Your husband's chest rubbing...
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