Sex Nerd matching “relationships”

Love, Actually

College students, man. They ask the best and the hardest questions. This is what they asked me yesterday: "When you're really interested in someone and then you get into a relationship with them and all your interest just evaporates... why... Continue

How To Have A Good Personality

There is a lot of science (well, let's say there is a lot of "science") about mate choice, what's attractive to whom and what that means for us as a species. For example, in general we, all of us humans,... Continue

Dating Game Theory

I just spent an hour trying to work out the payoff matrix of dating in college, as represented in the NYT. (Need I remind readers that I am a nerd?) I did this because when I read the article it... Continue

Beauty And The Guardian

Apparently women prefer facial masculinity as a function of national health index. Which is interesting. If you come from a rich, healthy country, you're more likely to prefer a feminine male face, whereas if you come from a poorer, lower... Continue

Science. Gone. Wrong.

Ya'll know I'm in love with evolution. It does for me what no mere human could - it understands, it explains, it supports, it gives me a safe place from which to explore the world. And just as you'd hate... Continue

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

This came up on three separate occasions today, so it seems the fates want me to post about it: To end a relationship, you really must have no contact. Because remember attachment? Breaking up is about breaking the attachment, which...... Continue

What Women Want (1)

Thanks to Brody's useful comment, I've decided to spend a bunch of time focused on helping men understand women. We are, it's true, a complex stew of contradictory feelings and ideas. We are mysterious and sometimes demanding. But we're AMAZING... Continue

What Women Want (2)

We're looking at What Women Want Wednesday again. This is the second in the I-don't-know-how-many-parts series. This week women want... ... to be wanted. I mean waaaaaanted. Without that feeling of being wanted... well, it's awful to feel that your... Continue

A Mate Less Ordinary

Because I personally find it reassuring to hear someone else say what I'm thinking, I'd like to take this opportunity to reassure all the single women over 30 who genuinely, seriously, honestly, deeply are neither panicked nor desperate about being... Continue

What Women Want (4)

And here we have edition 4 of the ongoing series on what women want. This week, women want... ... not to have to worry about everything. Look, sometimes the sexiest thing you can do... is the dishes. Remember how women... Continue

What Women Want (5)

Part 5 in the weekly, indefinite series about what women want. This week, women want... ... to succumb. I searched hard for that verb. It means "to yield to superior strength or force or overpowering appeal or desire." Other verbs... Continue

Making The First Move: Asking Them Out

The things people ask me. "How do you ask someone out?" they ask me. Achingly vulnerable questions with impossible answers. Well. The short answer is "You ask them out. Just fuckin' do it." Which is not helpful, but actually is... Continue


Krissy suggested I post something about jealousy, one of my favorite subjects. I'm sure it'll end up requiring more than one post because it's a massive topic deserving of thorough examination. So jealousy. I've only ever met one person who... Continue

Making The First Move: The First Kiss

Not that long ago I offered what advice I could about how to ask out your crush object. The next worrisome "first move" is probably gonna be the first kiss. I can tell you that the first kiss is easiest... Continue

What Women Want (7)

What do women want, you ask? They want to know that you thought about them when they weren't there. You do think about her when she isn't there, right? Then this shouldn't be too difficult for you. If you... Continue

The Honeymoon Phase

By request: Is there a honeymoon phase? Does it end? Yes. And yes. The honeymoon phase is made of attachment, the wildly powerful biological experience we tend to call "falling in love." (I'm such a romantic, eh?) It can last,... Continue