5 signs a partner may be having an emotional affair

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

Picking up on the signs of an emotional affair isn't always easy. Many people wonder how they didn't know sooner. Others worry that their relationship paranoia is unfounded (and it may be). Ultimately, only you can know what your gut feeling is telling you. Here are some red flags that may warrant a closer look:

  • He/she seems distant and distracted, and when questioned about it, gets angry or defensive.
  • He/she has suddenly changed the way he spends his time: He might be at work constantly, or spend all night on the computer. Suddenly, a new focus is eating up all of his time, but you get few details when you ask about it.
  • He/she has become more involved in paying the bills or has transferred bills to the office, so you do not see call or computer logs, bank transactions and so forth.
  • He/she has suddenly started exercising, putting more effort into dressing and grooming, or wants you to do these things.
  • He/she has suddenly lost interest in sex or is highly sexually charged, in a way that you haven't experienced in years or ever.