Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., MPH

  • Posted Help! I Can't Orgasm the 'Regular' Way to The Sex Doctors are In!
    Your Sex Question: How Does a Clit Girl Orgasm During Intercourse? Believe it or not, the clitoris is involved in pretty much all types of women's orgasms -- even if it's not directly being stimulated at the time. That's because...
  • Posted If I Say 'Screw Condoms,' Will I Get Pregnant? to The Sex Doctors are In!
    Some women get pregnant the very first time that they have sex without a condom or other birth control method. It's like an after-school special. Other women, of course, find that they or their partner have fertility problems and they...
  • Posted Anal Play Basics to The Sex Doctors are In!
    Anal Play Basics Anal sex has come a long way, baby! Nearly 20 years ago, when the last nationally representative study of sexual behavior in the US was conducted, about 20 to 25% of women and men had engaged in...
  • Posted Quick Question: How do I have an Orgasm During Intercourse? to The Sex Doctors are In!
    Believe it or not, the clitoris is involved in pretty much all types of women's orgasms -- even if it's not directly being stimulated at the time. That's because science has made it very clear that the clitoris is much...
  • Posted When Foreplay Becomes "Boreplay" to The Sex Doctors are In!
    Foreplay: When you're not getting it, it seems like any will do. But the truth is, foreplay can get just as routine as intercourse. Sometimes it can feel like you're both going through the motions and can predict each other's...
  • Commented on My wife has decreased interest in sex
    If your wife does not enjoy being intimate with you, including foreplay and kissing, you might find it helpful to see a sex therapist together (you can look for one in your area through sstarnet.org). You may find it helpful...
  • Commented on My wife has decreased interest in sex
    If your wife does not enjoy being intimate with you, including foreplay and kissing, you might find it helpful to see a sex therapist together (you can look for one in your area through sstarnet.org). You may find it helpful...
  • Commented on pain during sex
    I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties with genital pain. If the problem persists or if you don't feel like you're getting the care or answers you need, you may be able to connect with the National Vulvodynia Association (vulvodynia...
  • Commented on Older Penis
    Yes, it is common for men to notice some "shrinkage" (for lack of a better term) with age and less firm erections. I've less often heard men describe their erections as "rounder" in diameter. Men also often notice changes in...
  • Commented on All About the Female Orgasm
    I think women fake for a variety of reasons. Some women fake because they don't know how to orgasm or it's very difficult for them to do so (at all or in front of a partner) and faking may help...
  • Commented on IVF & KY GEL
    Great question! Researchers have studied the effects of lubricants on sperm and have found that some lubricants are toxic to sperm and some lubricants change the way that sperm move. As such, some doctors recommend that couples who are trying...
  • Commented on Desperate For Some Help
    You allude to having been through a lot in terms of past relationships and also your current situation which includes being a mother to three children, a wife, and a woman who is experiencing health problems that can take their...
  • Commented on never had an orgasm
    I'm sorry to hear that you seem to have had a frustrating time trying to learn to experience orgasm. Women have all sorts of routes they take toward orgasm and you have tried many sound strategies to get there. Although...
  • Commented on What do you think of the concept of chore-play?
    Absolutely, Ian! Although I think it's very important not to get into a "bartering" system or even to see it as a man "helping his wife" with chores in the way that his caring for kids shouldn't be seen as...
  • Commented on Penis too large?
    Although some people think "bigger is better", well-endowed men and their partners know this isn't always the case. Though there are no safe & effective surgeries for penile reduction or vaginal enlargement, there are - fortunately - steps you can...
  • Commented on Sex while on vacation
    It is completely normal to want sex on these types of getaways - aka "vacation sex" - but it's also normal to NOT want sex. Especially if one is generally feeling stressed, tired, overworked and just wants some down time...
  • Commented on no sex in 8 months so......
    Unless you are hurting yourself in some way (e.g., chafing skin off of your penis through particularly rough masturbation) you are not at clinical risk from frequent masturbation (nor would you be at clinical risk of frequent intercourse or oral...
  • Commented on hygiene
    What do you consider "not-so-good vaginal hygiene"? I'm asking because - aside from washing the genitals with water to keep her body clean - there's nothing else a woman should typically be doing to her genitals for hygiene reasons. Some...
  • Commented on Penis Insensitivity
    Many men (even very young men) feel that sex feels differently with a condom than without one, so I wouldn't necessarily chalk this one up to penile "insensitivity." However, there are some things that can be done to increase his...
  • Commented on What do you consider great foreplay?
    Absolutely - I agree. Naked foreplay can be fun but clothed foreplay should not be forgotten. It's how many of us first learn how to experience erotic touch and sexual pleasure, as teenagers....
  • Commented on Oral problem
    You certainly came to the right place! I'd recommend checking out Dr. Kerner's book, She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, for a wonderful how-to about oral sex and women's bodies. A wonderful thing about the...
  • Commented on How to take the "how to" out of the bedroom?
    I completely agree with Kristen here. It might also be helpful, during this outside-the-bedroom-conversation, to come up with some kind of signal you can use during sex so that you communicate the message without totally taking away from the moment....
  • Commented on Getting More Play out of Foreplay
    Keep in mind that about 1/4 - 1/3 of men have faked it, too. So yes, women fake, but so do men, and I would venture to guess that faking is more common/more likely in newer relationships or in relationships...
Subscribe to feed Recent Actions from Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., MPH